The time of the overused Instagram caption “New year, same me.” A time where the most liked picture on said Instagram, Kylie Jenner introducing the world to her baby, has now been taken over by a picture of an egg. Yup, just a classic egg. Why not? What a time to be alive, right? What else could complete January? How about some new dating terms… yay! (Sarcasm detected.) You’ll remember we’ve already graced you with 12 Dating Terms You Need, But Definitely Don’t Want and then we hit you with 10 More Dating Terms You Still Don’t Want. Now, prepare yourself for 10 new dating terms to truly kick off 2019…

1. Orbiting

Ever been in one of those situations where you kind of have someone there, but you’re not sure if things are on or off? They’re not making much of an active effort with you, but they somehow consistently make their presence known. This can take the form of liking all your posts. This would be a classic case of orbiting. Much like a satellite, they keep to the background. Still in your life… but not quite. Eerie indeed…

2. Grande-ing

Hot of the instantly iconic single “Thank U, Next”, not only has Ariana Grande provided the ultimate positive growth, break up soundtrack, but she can now add inspiring a new dating term to her list of achievements. Grande-ing follows the theme of the hit song, being thankful for exes and looking at what you’ve learnt, as well as how you’ve grown through past relationships. Got to love the positivity 🙂

3. Pocketing

“Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day”. Sadly, pocketing is not quite as romantic as Perry Como’s lyrics. Essentially, it’s when you think your relationship is going somewhere, but you aren’t being introduced to friends or family. In fact, they only take you out of their ‘pocket’ to hang out when it’s clear you won’t cross paths with any of consequence in public. Moral here, be with someone who is proud to be seen with you!

4. Cookie Jarring

Basically, a cute way of saying that they have a back up plan. Cookie jarring is when you’ve been seeing someone for a while and you don’t want to keep all your eggs (or cookies here) in one basket/jar. You’ll start getting a little closer to someone else, just in case. If this is the case and you’ve got your hand firmly stuck in the jar, ask yourself why you need a backup? Is it them or you…

5. Prowling

Now, I assumed this new dating term was just going out and looking to score but I was so, so wrong. Prowling seems similar to zombie-ing. You’ve gone on some dates, started hanging out and then all of sudden – poof, you’re ghosted. As you’re getting over the heartache, they come back like nothing happened having played with your feelings. Making them a prowler. So,that concludes today’s TED talk, thanks. Joke! We still have 5 more left 😉

6. Side Barring

Hands up, who else hates being out with someone and being ignored because that person is just on their phone the whole time? Now, hands up again if you’re guilty of that behaviour too? Worst place to do this has got to be a date and that, friends, is called side barring. No one goes on a date to watch you text and tag friends in memes, get it together people!

7. Banksying

Remember last year, when Banksy’s ‘Girl with a Balloon’ painting sold at an auction for $1 million and then shredded itself almost immediately? Well, now the street artist can see his artistic influence spread to dating. Banksying is coming up with a calculated plan to break up with some in advance, much like he did for his painting. Well, some say planning is key I guess…

8. Scroogin’

Inspired by Ebenezer Scrooge, official hater of Christmas (aside from my main man, the Grinch who really only hated people, so that’s understandable) Scroogin’ is holiday related. Keeping it festive, it’s when you break up with someone before a major holiday so you don’t have to buy them a gift. Savage, but hey. Millennials have to save where they can if they want to afford diamonds or housing.

9. You-turning

Much like when you’re driving and you come to the sudden realisation that you’re going the wrong way, so you turn around. You-turning is when a couple goes from being Ariana and Pete levels of love to being over in seemingly seconds. Almost as if someone just woke up and changed their mind. Usually pretty awkward if they were quite into their PDA… cough cough Pete trying to manage expectations on the size of his… energy.

10. Cohabi-dating

As I mentioned earlier, millennials are struggling financially. This final new dating term on our list is dedicated to them. Cohabi-dating is when a newly formed couple rush to move in together, purely to save money. Let’s get real. The housing industry is designed for couples, if you want to live alone you basically need to earn the salary of 10 people combined. This means that cohabi-dating is likely to become pretty big in 2019. So, look out for more articles someone claiming millennials are ruining the housing industry 😉

So, there you have it! 10 new dating term to truly kick off 2019. Honestly, I was hoping 2019 would be the year we start to remember that we’re all humans and dating is hard, so we should be nice… but judging by this list of new dating terms maybe 2020 is the year of kind dating? Follow our blog to find out 🙂

By Jordan Enaboifo