Guys, I’m sure we know all about people coming up with excuses for their bad behaviour. Whether it’s a friend who’s always on their phone when you’re with them, but never texts you back. Or a potential date who keeps rearranging your plans because they’re busy, but they’re always watching your Instastories. Yeah, you get it. Look, we all know how annoying that can be, but even worse is when people take common phrases and twist its meaning to cover up said bad behaviour. Not cool, guys! If you’re not sure what I mean, here are 4 common phrases people misuse for their own benefit…
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
Now, now. We know that Marilyn Monroe is one of the ultimate icons (she’s the one who said this first, by the way!) and when she said this, she had a great point. After all, if people are going to love you, they need to love all sides of you. They need to be prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly. HOWEVER, there is a difference if someone’s worst is them being a bit moody every now and then or them not handling stress well, then bursting into tears. If someone’s worst is them being abusive in any way, then that is inexcusable and you are well within your rights to leave that situation!
The phrase is meant in more of a light-hearted, non-extreme manner BUT, that hasn’t stopped some people using it for the truly inexcusable. Bottom line? If someone’s worst is causing you physical, emotional or mental harm, then their best doesn’t matter. It’s a toxic situation you don’t have to handle if you don’t want to. You don’t ever have to accept this phrase an excuse.
“Good things come to those who wait.”
For anyone that has been patiently waiting awhile for something and has been dedicating blood, sweat and tears for it, this phrase probably is no help when trying to stay positive. It’s especially not helpful if you’re surrounded by a fair amount of people who are constantly benefitting from instant gratification. Take promotions for example. A prime example of this is if you’ve been working somewhere for a few years and every time you try to approach your boss about a promotion or a pay bump, they respond with “good things come to those who wait”. However other people in the office who have been there for less time and who show less initiative have been progressing more rapidly than you.
Now, there is every chance that they deserve it or that there’s a skill needed that you don’t have for the role. However, the phrase is commonly used to either make people feel better about their current place in life or misused to make someone stop asking for the more that they are entitled to.
If you’re in a situation where you’ve assessed your standing and you know that you should be earning more or progressing, then absolutely don’t be afraid to ask for more. Yes, patience is a virtue, but it can easily turn into complacency and waiting for things to happen to you, instead of engineering them yourself. It’s your life, so if you want it to progress you have to take an active role. Good things don’t always happen to people who wait. There is no concrete formula to calculate what happens to good people or bad people. Waiting for good things when you can take control is more of a passive approach. So, be active!
“All you need is love.”
A beautiful sentiment, made into an equally beautiful Beatles song, it’s just what you want to hear in times like now. That everything can be overcome with love is positive, powerful and poignant. No wonder it’s become one of the common phrases. HOWEVER, love sadly doesn’t conquer all. You only have to look at the amount of celebrity breakups over the past few years (Channing and Jenna, we miss you so much * sobs *.) Sometimes, love just isn’t enough and people can you use the feeling of love as rose-coloured glasses for a long, long time. Truthfully, not all love is meant to last forever.
In a relationship of any kind, you need more than just love. You need commitment, understanding, compromise and, most importantly, trust. It’s all well and good to love someone but if you can’t trust them, soon love won’t be enough. If you know your relationship doesn’t have any of those other ingredients and they hit you with a “it’s fine, all you need is love”, then maybe you need to start think about whether things will really work out after all…
“It takes more muscles to frown than to smile”
If you’re a woman out there, you’ll know all about being told to smile by randos. You might have even heard this phrase once or twice. Not only is it extremely irritating (I have yet to meet anyone whose resting face is a smile, that would be a workout and a half!) Truthfully though, smiling IS a workout of sorts! A small smile uses about 10 muscles in order to lift the upper lip and your mouth corners. Whereas a frown uses about 3 muscles to drop the lower lip and mouth corners. Essentially when someone tells you to smile, they’re giving you work!
Yup, that’s right! The audacity, I mean really?! Regardless, you can smile whenever you want to smile and you can rest assured that frowning is not more work for your face. So, go right ahead and let your face do its thang 😉
So, there you have it! 4 common phrases people misuse for their own benefit. Whether people misuse them on purpose or not, you are fully allowed to do what’s best for you. Whether that’s to leave a toxic situation, not be satisfied with just love, have high standards or not always be smiling, you do you! 😉
By Jordan Enaboifo