With more places opening up as lockdown eases, there are a couple of things on people’s minds. Sticking to social distancing, adjusting to the new normal and slowly branching out into the world again. There’s also, now, more options for dates again, if people decide they want to (check out some of our ideas on dates here). Now, people are finally getting to meet up with others they’ve been chatting to and going on video dates with for months. Exciting right? Well… not for everyone. Which brings us to the latest lockdown dating term. Here are 4 reasons why you’re experiencing Fear of Meeting Out (FOMU)…

• You have high expectations and you’re worried about being disappointed

This completely makes sense. Of course, you’d have high expectations. Under normal circumstances, you probably talk to your online dates for a few days to a couple of weeks before meeting up. You learn a bit about them, but it’s a shorter time period and less time for your expectations to rise. Now that so much time has gone past, you’ve dreamt up all the perfect scenarios, so it’s natural to feel fear of meeting up because they might not measure up.

• You’re worried you invested all this time and you won’t have chemistry

One thing lockdown has given singletons is way longer chats. Some people have been having full on romances and have invested a lot of time in them, without meeting in person. Usually, you’d try and meet ASAP to see if the chemistry is there or not. This hasn’t been the case, so what if after all this time there’s no chemistry? Feeling fear of meeting up because you don’t want to burst that bubble is completely fine.

• You’re worried about catching or spreading Covid

This is a normal worry to have. Yes, cases are lower at the moment, but we all know how quickly things can change. Just because you’ve been, and still are, adhering to social distancing and healthcare professional advice doesn’t mean that everyone else is. There are a lot of concerns such as if you don’t live alone, is it putting your house/flatmates or family at risk by going on dates? Is it safe to kiss your dates yet? All these questions are likely to bring up fear of meeting up. Just make sure you’re talking about it and are weighing up the risks.

• Social anxiety from being in lockdown

Whether you had social anxiety before, or lockdown increased it, going on dates can be pretty nerve wracking. It can be even more stressful when you haven’t really been meeting up with anyone, especially new people. Talking to someone on an app, or on a call (video and voice) feels completely different to meeting in person and that will definitely cause fear of meeting up. If you’re not ready to meet up, just know that’s completely acceptable.

So, there you have it. 4 reasons why you’re experiencing Fear of Meeting Out (FOMU). If you are experiencing this, talk about it with your potential date. Pick somewhere where you both feel comfortable and establish some boundaries before meeting. If you feel they’re pressuring you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, then tell them to do one!