With emerging technology and, currently as a result of the pandemic, often the first communications with people we didn’t know before are born through digital means. This has been a disturbing situation for people like me who are more traditionalists when the topic is relationships. Could it by time to join the group of dating app first-timers?
Until last month, I couldn’t help but open my eyes to my friends who are users of dating apps and ask questions: “How can you trust them? You don’t think he’s lying? How dare you meet? How can you be sure you aren’t chatting with some lunatic who’s planning on taking you somewhere and cutting off your ear?!” Most of their answers contradicted with my thoughts. Almost all of them described how normal, pleasant and fun it is to meet someone new in this way, and they had no security concerns.
After celebrating the first year of my last breakup, I decided to give dating apps a try. In the end, I don’t need to meet with anyone, if I don’t want to. Once you decide which app to download (try CLiKD ?), then your biggest action should be to eliminate people who are in the “whoever breaths” mood and find the right people to interact with. Here are my 4 tips for dating app first-timers:
Set yourself a’ twenty-second ‘ rule and don’t hit Like or not without spending at least 20 seconds on a profile. This will also give you time to glance at the profile and to read what that person has written to their bio before scrolling.
Limit the number of people you are in contact with
Don’t be interested in sending a Like to so many new people, that it will stop you from talking to the people you match with. I understand the approach of ‘it only has to work once, so I will keep trying until that one comes along’. However, if you have not put enough time and effort into familiarising yourself with this new potential dream-person, then the chances of you being constantly on the search will be a lot higher. Don’t be a novice, even if you are a dating app first-timer.
Don’t expect miracles
There are few fun people in the world, and thus on dating apps too. If you have put a few realistic photos of yourself up and created a profile with the best intentions, it’s normal to expect the same from others. However, as in normal life, you can find people on dating apps who make it look like they’re someone they’re not. To prevent unwanted progress when you take things from online to offline, you should try to have your first meeting during the day and maybe even at a crowded spot.
Filtering & Deal-breaker questions
Thanks to the evolving filter options and the familiarity with social media, it’s not too hard to find the partner you want with the ideal characteristics. Use them to understand people’s perspective and also to knock out unnecessary contact. If you set your initial three questions up on CLiKD to act as your relationship deal-breakers, your matches will be much more relevant and your dating app experience will be a shorter one.
One last small tip. If you’re using an iPhone, restrict screen display times of dating apps from settings. As a dating app first-timer, you would want to keep your desire turned on.
It’s not as much of a “redneck” environment as I thought, if you’ll excuse me. Singles who want to get to know new people, who aren’t as “wild” about it as I am, are texting, meeting if they want to, that’s all. I have to admit, receiving a ” how was your day?” message from someone I don’t even know is motivative. But, make sure that the app you choose is focused on building relationships rather than matches, so your interactions are high in value. Enjoy!