First things first, I think we can all agree that being ghosted sucks (no brainer.) However, do you truly know what it means? It’s when you have a personal relationship with someone and then they just evaporate, without a trace. This can happen at any stage of the dating game. For those of you who have been on the receiving end of a disappearing act, whether it’s a few dates in or years later (yup, that does happen. I KNOW!) we’re here to help. Here are 4 ways to respond to being ghosted…
Remain calm and assess the situation first
The truth is, we’re all more than capable of jumping to conclusions. We’ve all been there, I know I have especially in the early days. Things are going well, you start to relax and a standard has been set. You talk most days, if not all and you’re seeing each other regularly. Then, all of a sudden… poof! They’re silent. Are they just busy or… are they gone for good?!
Don’t panic right away. I know, I know! Easier said than done, right? Most of us naturally assume the worst. There’s no specific time period when you know you’ve been ghosted, but maybe give it at least a few days. Respond to ghosting by assessing the situation. See if they keep to plans you had. If they usually message first, try messaging them. If they don’t respond to messages, depending on how the relationship has progressed between the two of you, potentially reach out to mutual contacts and go from there.
*Remember, there is a difference between your message never being opened and someone leaving you on read… just saying.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of posting all about it on social media
If it has been established that they have, indeed, ghosted don’t give them satisfaction by posting a ton of digs meant for them on social media. Someone who would rather ghost than have a grown-up conversation, is not the time of person you should be wasting your time on. If anything, they did you a favour! Don’t stoop to their childish level to get their attention.
Someone who has ghosted you may not respond to you, but they may still haunt you. Meaning they’ll still watch your Instagram stories etc. They’ve treated you to silence, respond by treating them the same in this instance! Forget them, stuff lives on the internet forever. You don’t want future employers etc. to come across that. Your ghoster doesn’t get to ruin more prospects for you!
Send one final message to say your piece
Just because they don’t want to have a serious chat, doesn’t mean they get to escape. Whether they read it or not, you have the right to say your piece. So, take your time and craft your one final message for them. This is your chance to truly respond to being ghosted and show them what they’ve lost.
Someone that immature doesn’t get to have the last word. However, be honest. Let them know that you enjoyed your time together (if that’s the case) tell them any issues you did have and then wish them the best, if you feel like it. Let’s be honest, being ghosted doesn’t leave someone in a generous mood. It leaves them feeling petty AF, so beware!
If you still don’t hear back, don’t bombard them in hopes that they’ll change their mind
Even if you’ve sent your final message as your response to being ghosted, you still may not hear back. If that’s the case, accept it and take all the time you need to move on. Don’t break down and start messaging them in the hopes of them changing their mind or coming back to say they made a mistake.
It can be difficult, especially if you felt that something real was developing/had developed between the two of you. However, remain strong. Great friends will help, if you need. The best you can do is give yourself time and not view it as a reflection of you. You’re great! They suck. Don’t let their childishness dull your shine!
So, there you have it. 4 ways to respond to being ghosted. Just remember, when you’re ready to put yourself out there again, you’ll know. Don’t rush it and stay awesome!