So, it’s officially November. Which means that the time of jumpers, long scarves, coat chic and decorative coffee cups is upon us. The festive spirit should be gearing up to hit fever pitch soon and, let’s be honest, once Winter Wonderland tickets start to go on sale, you know that winter is here! One other phenomenon that November brings with it… cuffing season. That’s right, the pressure to find your winter cuddle buddy just got real.
But what IS cuffing season, I hear some of you asking? Well Urban Dictionary coined the term in 2011 and they describe it as a time when people who usually prefer being single, suddenly get the urge to be partnered up or ‘cuffed’ by a serious relationship in the winter months. Apparently cold weather equals lonelier, desperate singletons (I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist people!) Nevertheless, cuffing season has become a period that some people dread, so, I’m here to tell you 5 reasons why you should avoid cuffing season altogether;
The idea behind cuffing season is that once winter is over, you ditch your partner and go back to the glory days of frolicking around as a carefree singleton. The person that you find during this time is essentially there to fill the winter void, for a predetermined period of time. Look, aside from how unrealistic it sounds to have a deadline on something that can potentially involve a lot of emotion, there is also the assumption that you shouldn’t get attached because the arrangement is just temporary.
I don’t know about you, but I have never experienced my emotions keeping to any sort of schedule, especially when another person has been involved. I’m sure we’re all familiar with the term ‘catching feels’; well having emotions isn’t an illness but it can catch you unaware, deadline or not. Truthfully, if you really want a partner to build a long term relationship with, you probably shouldn’t start the whole arrangement with a deadline. It makes the whole ‘long term’ part of the equation redundant and you could be more likely to end up hurt. No one wants that (unless they’re evil, then you should DEFINIETLY avoid them!)
It Causes Unnecessary Stress
As if being single doesn’t come with enough downsides, cuffing season has the added pressure of having to find someone by a certain time so that you won’t be left out. FOMO is definitely real (and getting even realer with all this social media) so it’s definitely something I’m sure we’ve all experienced before. Aside from the everyday pressures from friends, family and society to find a partner, cuffing season also adds the time of year and the idea that everyone else will be paired up at that time. Winter is the time of Christmas, people! The only thing you should be stressed about is how many different types of food you think you can eat in that time, compared to your cousins!
It’s meant to be a fun time and being single at this time of year can be great! You can focus on your family, there are no arguments about who’s family you’ll spend the holidays with, you don’t have to buy your partner a gift (more money to spend on yourself) and you can flirt with whoever you want at all those holiday parties. Win – win! Who knows? Once the pressure of finding someone specifically for cuffing season is gone, maybe you’ll meet someone who is in it for the long haul 😉
If You Only Want a Partner Because It’s in Fashion, Then There’s a Bigger Problem
It’s natural to want to be loved, at some point we all feel it, crave it even. Even though the want to be in a relationship is a common one, you shouldn’t want to be in one just because everyone else is. As I’m sure a lot of our mothers said to us as impressionable kids/teens; “if all your friends jumped of a bridge, would you jump off too?” Cuffing season makes being in a relationship seem like a hot new trend for the winter, like wearing a Von Dutch cap was in the 90s.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with another person but if you only want it because it’s on trend or because you’re worried about what other people will think of you, that can be a sign of insecurity. Forget those people and don’t settle! You, my friend, are worth WAY more.
You Should Keep Your Options Open
If someone hasn’t told you already, then let me; YOU are great and because of YOUR greatness, you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to just settle because its cuffing season. The world is a huge place with a lot of people. In fact, think of the world as a buffet (I am a massive foodie, so food is never far from my mind, nom) there are so many options out there for you. Why not take your time and try as many as you want? Really savour the experiences.
You will meet various people who want the same thing as you and others who don’t, but nevertheless there are plenty of people out there who will be on the same wavelength as you (quick plug: you can find a lot of those people on CLiKD 😉 ) That similar wavelength can include similar interests or general similar relationship goals. You’ll never know though unless you give yourself the chance to find that person.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Being Single
First of all, if you’re single, you’re not alone. There are literally millions and millions of single people in the world at any given time (so still not sure why this dating business is so hard with those kinds of numbers to be honest, but that’s another story.) The point is, there’s nothing wrong with being single, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to date and there’s nothing wrong with hoping that dating will lead to something more serious or keeping it casual.
Don’t let cuffing season make you feel like the current state of your dating life is a bad thing. Being single is a state that we all slip in and out of at some point in our lives. We’ve all been there and there’s no shame in it. Sure, you might be in it for longer than some other people you know, but wouldn’t you rather spend your time with someone you actually like than someone who just happens to be there?
Now go forth and enjoy! Sure, Winter Wonderland is fun with a partner but you can go as many times as you want and it’s even more fun with friends, so don’t stress! 🙂