Getting over a break up is never easy. Either you’re the one that got dumped or the one that made the decision. Some of the first thoughts that may come to mind are; “Will I ever get over it?” “How can I move on?” “Will I ever find love again?” Well, let me assure you, you will get over the pain and come out stronger than ever! I can’t say it’ll be easy or that you won’t feel any pain. Even if the only things you want to do right after a break-up are listen to sad music, watch break-up movies and eat a whole tub of ice cream, there are various techniques you can use to get over a break-up. Here are the 7 most important ones:
Distance yourself from your ex
One of the hardest things after a break-up is getting over the routine. You got used to talking and seeing your partner every day and suddenly, no contact. Having to stop all contact is hard. The first few days you will want to get in touch with them every day. Asking how they are etc. In order to get over a break-up, it is important that you DON’T do that. What you have to do is distance yourself. This means DO NOT contact him/her. No texts or calls. Unfollow him/her from all the social media and for God’s sake, DO NOT let him/her convince you to remain friends (it will not work, and you will never get over it).
Another thing that usually helps is deleting all the stuff that triggers memories of your past relationship. So, tear off and burn all the pictures you have together. Throw away all the presents your ex gave you (well… except the expensive or the really useful ones, maybe…)
Do not try to get back together
One thing that pops up in everyone’s mind after a break-up is trying to get back together. You start thinking, “well maybe we can get over this”, “maybe if I do this, we can still work out”. Well, let me tell you something: this is NOT going to work.
I’m sorry, but once a story is over it really is the end. There’s no going back. The problems you had before will come back sooner or later and eventually, you will break up again. So why inflict yourself with double pain?
Do all the things your ex didn’t want you to do
Have you ever had to renounce something you care about because your ex did not want you to do it? For example, did you ever miss a night out with your friend because your ex didn’t want you to go? Or was there something your ex really hated? Like you walking around the house with no pants on, or leaving dirty dishes in the sink? Well, now is the perfect time to do all of this (except maybe the part about leaving dirty dishes in the sink. C’mon that’s gross!)
Make a list of all the things you didn’t have during your relationship
Let’s be real, no relationship is perfect and if you two broke up, it means there was something missing. So, make a list of all the things your ex-partner wasn’t able to give you and make these things priorities for your next relationship.
Take time for yourself to rest and restore
One of the best things about being single again is that you have more time to take care of yourself. So, why not start to eat healthier and move more? Why not start practising yoga which is restorative for the body and mind?
One of the perks of living in London is that you can find a yoga studio on every corner, no matter where you live. Plus, research has shown that practising yoga regularly makes people feel happier thanks to an increase in serotonin, so the perfect cure for a break-up, isn’t it?
Go out with your friends
The partners might change, but the friends are the one that stays forever. That’s what they say, right? Well, one of the most therapeutic things to do after a break-up is call your friends and organise a night out. Your friends will know how to comfort you. They’ll remind you why your ex was bad for you and that you are not alone.
Once you’re ready, start dating again
Give yourself some time to be sad and to cry over the end of your relationship. It’s important that you are completely over your ex before start dating again. No one wants to start dating someone who isn’t over his/her ex. Eventually, there will be a time when you know you are ready to date again (see this blog post when ready ;). Put yourself out there, and, of course, download CLiKD to find your soulmate!
So yes, going through a break-up it is not easy. You’ll cry, you’ll think you are not good enough and that you won’t love again, but eventually you will come out stronger than ever!
By Giulia Mazzonetto