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I suppose it was sometime flying 13 hours home for the holidays, in between the hustle and bustle of holiday feasts and food comas, that I found myself self-reflecting on the dating lessons, the highs/lows, of this year.
Dating is fun and exciting when you first meet someone and sparks fly… but it can also be tiring and exhausting when the rose-colored glasses fall off. Also, figuring out if you guys are truly compatible or not. With each ‘failed’ relationship, however short or long, I do find myself learning something from each experience, which in turn helps me understand better who I am and what I am looking for.
As it is the time of year to self reflect, here are some questions to ponder about: What can I improve on? What should I do differently in my next relationship? What am I looking for in a partner? What do I need to be happy?
The biggest dating lessons learned:
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Love yourself first
This may sound cliché, but if you don’t love yourself and prioritise your wants and needs, you can’t expect someone else to do it.
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Be yourself
Yes, this is another dating lesson that points to you first. You can’t build a healthy relationship if you aren’t comfortable being yourself. If your partner can’t accept the real you, then they are not the right one for you.
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Communication is key
This not only includes being able to speak openly and honestly about your needs and feelings, but it’s also about being a good listener. If you and your partner have the ability to actually listen to one another, you can make it through anything.
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Compromise is a two-way street
Yes, not everyone will want the same things at the same time. That’s why it’s important to learn the art of compromising. Don’t be the only person giving things up, because a compromise is when both parties are satisfied — not just one.
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Don’t give up on your social life
One of the most important dating lessons? You should have a healthy life without your significant other. If it’s running, spending time with family and friends, you should still make room for things that make you happy.
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Fight Fair
It’s normal to have disagreements, thus it’s important to know how to be able to listen and discuss in a productive dialogue. Yelling is not productive, neither is the silent treatment. See dating lesson #3 above.
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No one is perfect
That’s right, no one is perfect, including you. Dating is about learning which personality traits / habits you can live with and which ones are deal breakers.
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You attract what you are vibing out
We attract people with the same vibrations. So, if you are constantly negative and unhappy, you will attract negative and unhappiness. Do the opposite!
So that’s a wrap, here’s to a wiser and more badass 2020!
Happy dating,
Ms. Mel
Meet/Eat/Love (MEL) #26
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