Yesterday was Bi Visibility Day, which has been marked every year since 1999. The day is dedicated to ‘raising bi awareness and challenges bisexual and biromantic erasure’. This year is the 22ndyear it’s been celebrated, which is amazing! There are a lot of events (online) all over the world that you can check out on the bi visibility website. One way to be an ally to the bisexual community is to take the time to learn more and understand issues they face. Bisexual erasure is very real, even within the LGBTQ+ community. So, here are 6 things not to say to bisexual people…
Not only is it rude to reduce a huge part of someone’s identity like this, it’s also harmful. There a lot of people who have found that their sexuality is fluid. That doesn’t mean it’s temporary though. While some people’s sexuality changes and evolves over their lifetime, identifying as bisexual can be just as fixed as identifying as gay, straight or lesbian. Put it this way, when’s the last time someone told you that being straight is ‘just a phase’? Exactly!
If you’re straight, you’re not attracted to every
single person of the opposite gender, so why would
you assume bisexual people are attracted to
everyone they meet?
There can be an assumption that if someone identifies as bisexual, that means they’re attracted to everyone they meet. This couldn’t be more wrong. Bisexual people aren’t automatically promiscuous because of their sexuality. It doesn’t mean they can’t commit or want to be polyamorous. Being bisexual means ‘sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men, women or non-binary people.’ If you’re straight, you’re not attracted to every single person of the opposite gender, so why would you assume bisexual people are attracted to everyone they meet?
A common response to someone identifying as bisexual is people thinking they can’t possibly be bi, because of who they’re dating. If a woman (for example) is dating a man, that doesn’t mean she’s no longer a bisexual person. It just means that she has met someone who she wants to be with and they just happen to be a man. They can be happy with any gender, they haven’t ‘made a choice’ about the gender they prefer. They’re open to meeting and falling for any gender, it’s about the connection. You can meet people who you connect with on CLiKD, using their fun dealbreakers.
For a bisexual person, gender isn’t the main deciding factor of attraction. In the same way that you’re attracted to different people at different times, it’s not necessarily about having a preference. Sure, there are some bisexual people who have preferences, but honestly, it’s no one’s business and as long as you’re happy, live your life!
Yes, there are some people who have come out
as bi first, before coming out as gay or lesbian later
on, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the same for
anyone who identifies as bisexual.
Everyone is different. Yes, there are some people who have come out as bi first, before coming out as gay or lesbian later on, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the same for anyone who identifies as bisexual. Those people’s experiences don’t erase the existence of bisexual people. It doesn’t automatically make bisexuality a stepping stone.
No. Just no! Not ok to assume that bisexual people want to have a threesome with you. Just like any person, threesomes are an option. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you’re automatically open for one or that you just want to be sexualized as a possible third. Have some respect people!
So, there you have it! 6 things not to say to bisexual people. Just remember to treat everyone with respect.