So, last week we talked about the ‘great’ phenomenon known as benching, but today we’re going to talk about one of the other common dating terms… Yes folks! It’s time to chat about breadcrumbing. “What’s that?” I hear some of you asking. Well, let’s get into it, shall we? Breadcrumbing is when someone sends flirty, non-committal messages that give the other person just enough attention to keep them keen. Just like the tale of Hansel and Gretel, you give them just enough to keep them on the path you’ve set out. Essentially, it’s leading someone on, with little to no effort and definitely not committing to anything with them. Sound familiar? Maybe someone in your life is doing that to you right now! Well, here are 6 signs they’re breadcrumbing you, sorry!
If majority of their messages are essentially small talk, things like ‘the weather is nice today’ or ‘what’s up’, this can be a clear sign that they don’t really have anything to say. They’re just giving you a little something to keep you interested. Extra breadcrumbing points if they say things like ‘we should hang out soon’, but never follow up to make plans to do that.
It’s a minimal interaction that they hope will
make you overlook the fact that they’re giving
you nothing of substance.
Now this is definitely a social media red flag, if they’ve left you on read on one app, but are liking your post on another? It’s a minimal interaction that they hope will make you overlook the fact that they’re giving you nothing of substance. Not here for it at all!
Sure, they’re non-committal 98% of the time but, once it’s after 1am, they’re all about you coming over to theirs etc. A lot of breadcrumbers only indulge in this type of behaviour because they want to get laid with little to no effort and definitely no commitment. So, bear that in mind! If you want to meet people who are interested in having a deeper connection and building something real, check out CLiKD.
If all you’re getting is some sporadic, generic
texting that leaves you feeling shitty when they
disappear for periods of time undefined or
explained, then it’s likely breadcrumbing.
A great way to find out if someone is truly breadcrumbing you, is to see what they do when you call them out on their awful behaviour. If you find that they become better at messaging etc. for about a week and then go back to their normal BS, then you know what’s happening. Better yet, if they make it seem like it’s all your fault, you know that they’re also gaslighting on top of everything else.
If you find that most of the communication with this person is rarely meeting in person, facetiming, or actual phone calls, then that already tells you a lot. If all you’re getting is some sporadic, generic texting that leaves you feeling shitty when they disappear for periods of time undefined or explained, then it’s likely breadcrumbing.
Usually, there’s no explanation, but sometimes
they might act like now they have time for you,
but will still give you less than the bare
minimum, just like before.
Lastly, if you find that it’s becoming the norm for them to just disappear, not to be heard from for days, weeks or even months, but then they randomly message again like nothing happened? Yup, we see you and know what you’re doing! Usually, there’s no explanation, but sometimes they might act like now they have time for you, but will still give you less than the bare minimum, just like before. Don’t fall for it!
So, there you have it! 6 signs they’re breadcrumbing you. Look, if you know that you want more than what’s being offered, then don’t accept it. Say no to accepting the bare minimum and less, we believe in you!
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