Everyone, even the rich and famous, have their worst first dates. Some of the country’s leading psychologists will agree that a first date could be the most stressful part of any relationship… but does it have to be? Let’s see what we can learn from some celebrities’ worst first dates…
BEAR GRYLLS – You think getting stood up would make for a bad first date, wait till you hear this.
As for those who like it rough, Bear is no stranger to keeping it wild in a relationship, but how wild are you really willing to get… “I made a picnic up on a mountain for a girl, with tables and chairs and three courses, it took me a full day to carry it up there.” Oh Bear, will you be carrying me up there as well? “But then she never showed, and the wind and rain blew it. The whole night was a washout.”
Looks like even the best laid plans can’t stop the weather, or me from avoiding a 10km hike! I am sorry Bear, maybe take her to a restaurant next time? You know that place where they do the cooking for you, save yourself another worst first date!
NICK JONAS – Sometimes stalking too much can only have one result: awful date.
We’ve all been there. Just a quick Insta-peek to make sure he’s not fug.“The worst dates are when people, like, know more about me than is comfortable.” Apparently, Nick is not a fan though.
“She just starts asking me questions that you wouldn’t know unless I told you, but she knew from wherever, from online or something. I don’t know. It was just very odd.”OK, fine. Some of us can take it too far sometimes and, awkwardly, ask about that holiday in Mustique 3 years ago. So what?! I liked his trunks…!
THE TINDER POO LADY – There’s bad and then there is this, but it worked… ish?
If you have not heard the story, then you have been living either as a hermit or on Mars. It all started, as the modern-day fairy tale goes, with a swipe right and a “Hey” from a certain Liam Smith. Before long into their online chats, Liam and the lady in question end up back at his for a bit of Netflix and Chill, having nailed the first half of their first date.
Caution: Vibe kill below…
Lady in question: “I went for a poo in your toilet,”
“and it would not flush,”
Oh no really…
“I reached in to the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper and threw it out of the window.”
It was at this stage Liam started to question whether he had made the right call in asking out the now dubbed, dung lobber. The story does not end here though. The pongy package had managed to wedge itself in the double glazing and was filling the air with its flavorsome odor.
Liam gallantly offered to break the first of the panes of glass to access the package; but keen for redemption, the stool stasher offered to negotiate herself into the small crack to retrieve said feces FedEx. Finally, the poo was retrieved and disposed of!
However, there was more excitement in store for the young lovers. In the process of retrieving the plop, the unnamed lady had managed to get herself stuck in the very same place that her turd had inhabited, not minutes before. Poor old Liam. Now faced with a bigger problem than even he is able to deal with alone, he turned to the emergency services…
“999, what’s your emergency?”
“So ummm, it’s kind of a long story…”
The Fire Brigade ended up having to break the window in the end.
She got a second date (once removed from the shitty situation.) Well… sort of. Liam had started a GoFundMe page to help replace the window that was broken by the fire brigade in the great rescue. The financials were discussed over coffee soon after the incident. If anyone out there has got a worse story than this, you’re a liar or you don’t want to tell anyone and I don’t blame you.
JUSTIN BIEBER – Terrible dates do happen…
What could possibly go wrong? The dream date, a romantic Italian meal…”I took a girl out for a first date to an Italian restaurant and spilled spaghetti all over her,” Oh no! Would you be able to forgive Justin?
“It was terrible and embarrassing. She never went out with me again.” Sadly, this qualified on his worst first date list. She didn’t deserve him anyway! I’m waiting Justin! 😉
JADE THIRLWALL – So, you finally find someone that you like! Let’s pray it’s not a shocking date!
We all had a crush in school. Some more intoxicating than others, the sportster, the popular one #Dreamy. “This boy I really fancied in school for ages finally asked me to the cinema and I was so excited.” It’s showtime, got a big night ahead of you at the cinema with your school crush, HELLO! Who knows what could happen afterwards…
“But when I got there, I saw that he invited about 20 other friends. It was so awful!” Wow ok, so much for a lovely intimate date in front of a goofy chick flick that he had meticulously chosen. More like Fast and Furious – like Jade’s exit from her worst first date.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN – Once a cheat, always a cheat. What could have been an awful date.
Okay fine, so this one is not really a worst first date story, but still it could happen at any time! “I met this guy in New York and we stayed connected as friends and then one time, I was on iChat, and IM-ing with him, and a naked girl walks in the background and all of a sudden the computer just shuts, like stops,” So many questions to be asked, like idk wtf?!
“And then he texted me an hour later, like, ‘Sorry that was my sister,’ and I was like, ‘uhhh.’” Yeah sure mate, well avoided from Khloe! As if she does not have enough going on in her life already!
Not all fairy tales in the luxurious lives of the rich and famous, but don’t despair. There have been celebrity couples that have worked out and that means that there is hope for you too.
One day, you too will find that special someone who will let you spill spaghetti on them. Want to find out what they are really like before the first date? Try CLiKD!