With more and more Chinese people starting to use dating apps in London, there are some cultural differences you should know before you date one.
It’s all about ‘face’
In Chinese language, the face is not just the piece of skin on the front of your head, but the reputation of a person. Chinese people take fame and shame very seriously. Sometimes, even more than their life. All relationships will have conflict and compromise, so when you are looking to reach a resolution, always try to find ways that allow both parties to “Save face.”
Being on a dating app = loser
While Chinese people care so much about their face, it appears to be shameful to be using a dating app. To someone Chinese, being on a dating app is equal to telling others you are sad and have no friends, and thus a loser in life. While this is changing, maybe don’t go public with the “We met on a dating app” statement, unless you’re sure the other party is as comfortable as you are.
Or, dating app = sex platform
In traditional Chinese conservative minds, having sex is a taboo before marriage. It was deemed wrong and shameful to have sex with anyone, other than their legal partner. Additionally, it is unacceptable for females to have more than one sexual partner in their lives.
Even though these are no longer the case, Chinese people are still not as open to sex when compared to Europeans. Therefore, tread lightly with the flirtation and sexual innuendo! While being a bit cheeky might be part of your charm, coming on too strong too soon might scare off your more traditional match, especially if they think you are only after one thing!
Real or fake?
Since the Chinese care so much about their reputational face, they care just as much about their physical face. Not only is it popular to apply heavy makeup or get a plastic surgery to look nice, it is very rare to see any photos online without them being photoshopped.
You might argue that most people apply filters on Instagram anyway, so what’s the difference? No, no, no. They are not the same. In Chinese populations, not only would one trim the limbs and sharpen the chin, one would also apply some photoshop cleavage and abs to the photo, if not applied by makeup.
This trend isn’t just limited to Chinese people. A lot of people around the world do it. Often, Chinese people overdo it though. So, if you ask a girl you meet online out, she may be two sizes up when compared to her profile photo. Or if you ask a guy out, he may be 10cm shorter than you would expect.
The message to take home is to never trust the profile photo 100%. If you want to meet someone, keep an open mind and be aware that profile photos are definitely going to be the “best of the best” shots.
What happens when you decide to meet?
In Chinese dating culture, when two people decided to meet, often they would decide on a feature each would carry. For example, hold a rose or a balloon. This is to help them identify each other without asking.
Often, to make the girls feel more secure, Chinese guys would ask to meet in a public space during day time.
Having the ability to identify each other without asking provides the one arriving later the ability to decide whether he or she really wants to meet the other one. As mentioned above, one may look very different from their profile photo, so this is more likely a safety net, so you can swerve the catfish if things look suspicious.
So, these are the top 5 Chinese cultures that differ from the others. These are the main ones I think you should know when meeting Chinese people on dating apps in London. With globalisation, the cultural differences have decreased significantly, but respecting one another is an important lesson we should keep in mind when we use a dating app. Plus, a great life lesson!