Let’s get real. We all have something we’re insecure about. Maybe you worry about your height, or how you sound or what people really think of you. Even the most seemingly confident among us has something. If there’s one thing that can be said about dating, it’s that it can bring up insecurities you didn’t even know you had. All it takes is one date to point out a tiny thing about you they didn’t like, then that’s all you’ll fixate on. There are, however, some insecurities that are more commonplace than you may think. So, here are 4 common dating insecurities we’ve all experienced…
If there is one thing that the pandemic has put into perspective for a lot of us it’s that finding something or someone to hold our attention is way, way harder than we originally thought. With dating apps continuing to gain popularity, we’re talking to more and more people. Are all those chats interesting? Hell no! It can be hard when you feel like you’re not getting anything from the other person. It can be even worse when you don’t feel like you have anything interesting to offer them. If they’re someone who is spontaneous, had a lot of adventures and is super witty with great stories, it’s natural you might be making comparisons to yourself and your own life. Sometimes even the simplest questions like ‘what are your hobbies?’ can leave you in a tailspin of feeling boring, when you’re probably not. We’re all individuals with our own things that make us who we are, remember that. Check out CLiKD to find people who get you.
From worrying about being shamed or fetishized for
having a certain body type to wondering if you’ll be
overlooked because of your height, there’s no end.
Ah body image, one of the most common dating insecurities. Actually, just a common insecurity in general. With social media and photoshopping giving us a ton of unrealistic body expectations, it can be such a weight on our shoulders. From worrying about being shamed or fetishized for having a certain body type to wondering if you’ll be overlooked because of your height, there’s no end. The number of stories of people going onto apps to intentionally make someone feel like crap about their body is insane. Especially, the amount of people who receive a rejection and immediately respond with body shaming. It can be degrading, but it’s important to remember that it’s your body, we all come in different shapes and sizes. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Everyone else can do one!
I think many of us at some point, compared ourselves to a partner’s ex or worried that a partner is comparing you to them. Whether they’re around or not, it can be a lot of pressure wondering what the person before you was like. Do you look similar? Are they still thinking about them? Do they prefer being with you? The endless questions are enough to drive anyone mad. If this is one of the common dating insecurities you’re experiencing, it’s important to try and address where this worry is coming from. Has your partner shown any signs that they’re thinking about the past or are you the one that’s fixated on theirs? It’s one thing if the ex is still actively in the picture, it’s quite another if you’re getting annoyed at your partner for having a life before they met you. Something to think about…
Our advice? You shouldn’t have to downplay your
achievements to make someone else feel more secure.
I would love to say that because it’s 2021 this isn’t still one of the common dating insecurities, but that would be a lie. We still live in a time where some men have admitted that they can’t date a woman who makes more money than them. There are still women in high powered roles that are struggling to meet people who aren’t intimated by their drive and ambition. Some people still feel the antiquated gender role of the man having to be the breadwinner is one that everyone should be embracing. I mean, we still haven’t answered the question of who should pay on the first date? mainly because it’s still a divisive topic for many. Our advice? You shouldn’t have to downplay your achievements to make someone else feel more secure. If you’re worried about your own success, look at realistic ways to reach your goals. Maybe there are short courses you can do that can get you there.
So, there have it! 4 common dating insecurities we’ve all experienced. If you are feeling any sort of insecurity, it’s important to look at where that thinking is stemming from and to find practical ways to manage those feelings.