Christmas eh, what a wonderful time of year!
All the presents, mulled wine, food, presents and decorations OH and of course the presents… Did I mention presents?
Despite all of the materialist and capitalist notions involved, the festive season should obviously be focused on being with the people you love most. Also, the presents they give you.
However, for dating purposes the holidays are always a tad awkward.
They can either look like this:
Dating someone now?
You’ve started seeing someone before the holidays started you’re suddenly hit with a lot of questions that need answered. Where you’re both going to be for the holidays? How much holiday have you both got? How broke are you from satisfying your families flagrant materialist desires associated with a big old bloke in a red suit?
Then again even if you’re official with someone life doesn’t get much easier… Here is a representation of what I’m sure spending Christmas with would be In-Laws looks like:
So where do you start?!!
Let’s think about it in an easiest and hardest case scenario.
The easiest case is that the person you’ve gone on a handful of dates with lives in the same city/town as you. While you’re also both spending your holidays in your town/city AND have similar holiday dates for uni/work. Ideal right?
No worries about anything going stale or having to grip tightly on to the remnants of a fleeting relationship! The person you’ve got your eye on is less than a half hour bus away!
You can live out all of your holiday fantasies (…within reason). Get mulled wine in a well decorated pub. Get bratwurst and chocolate covered waffles in a “completely legitimate” German Market in your town centre. Plus, show off your skills on the ice rink!
But hold your horses/reindeer.
Not saying that it’s all too good to be true but be careful to not be TOO intense. The holidays are always an emotional time for people and just cause the situation seems ideal it doesn’t mean it will all go as smoothly as you’d want.
You’ve only recently started seeing each other, so stay calm. What initially seems like a situation that was perfectly positioned scenario might just be too intense, for you or the person you’re seeing.
I guess the point is to treat the holiday with the cool and composed mindset of your Uncle after his 5th brandy on Christmas.
Treat the time of year like any other but just with a potential greater urgency to do more seasonal activities.
ProTip: If you’ve only been seeing each other for a couple weeks, depending on the type of people you are, it may be too early to get each other a present. Then again ‘tis the season!
You’ve envisioned the easiest situation where accessibility is great but can be overwhelming. Now it’s time for the hardest situation where inaccessibility is rife but possibly relieving.
So, It’s happened, you found someone who you want to take up the Ferris Wheel in Winter Wonderland. You’re thinking about the right time to ask about taking them without looking to be too keen. UH OH… They’re flying back to New York/ Munich/ the furthest possible place on Earth (up North?) tomorrow till early/mid-January. You find out and get the dreaded:
“but let’s definitely hang when I’m back! Have a great Christmas! X”
It’s obviously not ideal but there’s several things to remember here:
1) You’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks. So, as annoying as it is to not be able to use both your free time to get to know more about each other, you’ll survive. You’re still very much within the fun early stages of a relationship, so everything is still exciting and malleable.
2) Christmas is a time where the majority of people are too busy spending time with family or friends they’ve not seen in months to focus on dating anyway.
3) If the person you’re seeing is someone you met at uni, work or simply lives in the same city as you then they’ll be back. What’s 2-3 weeks between a couple of people who potentially have genuine feelings for each other?
Just be chill about it all.
Stay in contact with the person and message as you would normally just with more awareness that they’ll likely be busy with family and friends. Definitely try not to be too heavy on contact as with all blossoming relationships it can heap unnecessary pressure too early.
Ironically you’re in a much easier situation than the first and “easiest” scenario where technically you’re under no pressure to act in any particular way.
All those Christmas activities you had in mind to do with someone special will be more fun with friends. At least you know your friends will appreciate going ice skating rather than stressing about the person you’re seeing breaking their ankle.
Also treat the holidays as a time to focus on yourself. Non-holiday times are tough and long. You’ve put a lot into studying/work and you definitely need to unwind. Doing activities for yourself like spending Christmas money on clothes you want and indulging in Christmas Day leftovers will be the real let off you need. It’ll also undoubtedly result in you being way more relaxed and rejuvenated upon the arrival of the person you’re seeing back into non-holiday time. It’s the PERFECT time pull up a plate of Christmas cookies, make yourself a hot chocolate and start that Netflix series you’ve “not had time for”.
Remember the holidays are supposed to be fun and relaxing, needless to say they aren’t always, but don’t let stressing over a new relationship bring you down during the festive season.
Now Happy Holidays and to those celebrating: