Ladies, gents and everyone in between, let’s get into it. Time to talk about the wonderful world of dating. Complicated, fun, exhausting, chaotic. There are many an adjective that can be used to describe one’s dating life at any given time. It can be a rollercoaster, made even harder when you add in all the confusion that comes with it. Of course, the best solution for that is communication but, nevertheless, issues still occur, so let’s break down a few. Here are 5 common dating mixed messages and what they can mean…

• Having a great date, but it ending in no kiss, so assuming they’re not into you

This is one of the common dating mixed messages, especially after first dates. A lot of people assume that if you don’t kiss in the first couple of dates, it means you have no chemistry or spark. Truth is, some people might feel awkward about making a move for fear of rejection, or that it’s not the right environment. Also, some people just don’t want to kiss on a first date and that’s absolutely fine. You can enjoy someone’s company and still need time to get to know them before getting physical on any level. So, take that into account and respect it.

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It’s important though, that you look out for if they’re

actually making an effort to make time for you.

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• They say they want to see you, but then are always busy, so they must be breadcrumbing you

This is definitely up to interpretation. Out of all the dating mixed messages, it’s entirely possible this is true and you are being breadcrumbed. It’s also possible that they really are busy. It happens. Especially with people trying to keep multiple streams of finances open, or working different hours to you. It is entirely possible for someone to have a lot going on. It’s important though, that you look out for if they’re actually making an effort to make time for you.

• Not showing affection publicly, but only in private, so you think they’re embarrassed of you

Some people are just shy about PDA for many reasons. Maybe it’s not something they’ve grown up around, so they’re not used to it. Or they don’t want to make others uncomfortable. Regardless, it isn’t always a reflection of how they feel about you. People can show you how they care in other ways, without being physical. Something I’m sure we’re all learning to appreciate during these social distancing times.

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One of the most common dating mixed messages is

thinking that lack of sex means lack of interest.

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• They’re not interested in sex, so they’re no longer attracted to you

There are a multitude of reasons why someone might not be in the mood for sex or be ready to have sex with you. One of the most common dating mixed messages is thinking that lack of sex means lack of interest. They might just not be in the mood. Maybe they had a long day or are tired. Honestly, whatever the reason, respect that they don’t want to have sex right then. If you’re seeing someone and you haven’t had sex yet, them not being ready isn’t necessarily a reflection of their attraction. Trust and sex often go hand in hand. You both want to be comfortable and on the same page first.

• If they’re not ready to say ‘I love you’ at the same time, they’re not as invested as you

Ah, the question of when to say ‘I love you’ and what it means if they don’t say it back. Now, romcoms will have you believing that if they’re not ready to say it back, then they’re not as into the relationship as you and they’ll never say it, so what’s the point? Untrue. They might not be trying to give you mixed messages intentionally. Saying ‘I love you’ is a big step with a different significance to different people. Some have never said it, some feel they’ve said it too many times. There could be a multitude of reasons behind it. It’s important to be honest about how you feel, when you feel it and you’d want your partner to do the same. So, don’t assume the worst. Give them time.

So, there you have it! 5 common dating mixed messages and what they can mean. As I said in the beginning, communication is the best solution. If you truly feel like you are getting mixed messages, address and talk about it with the other person(s). Once you know where you stand, you can decide what to do next.