Dating someone older than you can lead to an amazing experience, but also some potential pitfalls. This article will delve into all the pros and cons, as well as what to expect during such a unique dating experience.
Rapper, Drake, has made headlines this week thanks to the rumours surrounding him and his supposed 18 year-old girlfriend. Their extreme age gap has blown up all over the internet, but is dating someone older really that uncommon?
According to research, a quarter of millennials are looking to date someone older than them. What is the appeal of going out with an older partner and what are some of the problems that can arise?
Some of the pros I’ve consistently come across are that:
1. Dating someone older can offer more experience in the bedroom
Having a more experienced partner can spice things up. It also allow an older partner to experiment and discover anything they may have missed out on in their younger years.
2. Dating older partners tend to be more secure
No more worrying about the little things or what their friends might say, or how every photo might look on social media. When men and women get to a certain age, they tend to ooze a lot more confidence and no longer obsess about insignificant trifles, which can be a big turnoff in some relationships.
3. No more mind games
In addition to having their life together, when your dating someone older they tend to be a lot more direct and forthcoming. They aren’t afraid to share their thoughts. You’ll know where you stand and they’ll know themselves well enough to tell you exactly what they want.
4. They probably have a nicer place than you
As more millennials end up renting smaller flats, it doesn’t hurt to end up with someone you like and benefit from the perks of a bigger house… Not that this should be the foundation of a relationship, or even a reason for dating, but it’s a nice plus?
5. Older partners tend to value you more
With more experience comes more carefully, considered relationships. If someone older dates you, it’s usually for a good reason and they’re probably in it for the long-haul.
So, what are some of the issues that can arise between couples with a big age-gap?
1. Maturity gap
If you’re planning on dating someone older, you’d better make sure you’re mature enough. Older partners tend to have a lower tolerance for younger people with insecurities and emotional issues. Additionally, being at potentially vastly different stages in life may prove jarring in some relationships.
2. Family plans
Depending on the size of the age gap, planning for children may not sync up between the biological clocks when you’re dating someone older. The viability of having kids deteriorates over time, especially for women, so it’s best to keep that in mind for any future plans. Moreover, a 20-year-old woman who didn’t want kids may want kids when they’re 30 and a guy may change his mind at nearly any stage.
3. Want different things in life
Being at different stages in life means that a younger partner may be looking for travelling and adventure while someone older is at the prime age for settling down with a family. A younger partner may be more career-focused and more into casual dating; nowhere near ready for building a family.
4. Generational gap
Occasionally, you may be reminded of your age gap when you’re dating someone older and they references something that predates the younger partner… Think “Sam and Diane” (Google it!) versus “Ross and Rachel” (you might remember them from your school days) versus “Leonard and Penny”. This can also have a potential roll on effect if you become parents. If old enough, a parent may miss out on a generation, making them more of a grandparent than a parent to their child.
5. Feeling judged in social situations
Especially at first, friends and family may give weird glances and treat you differently when they see you dating someone older or younger. One might not be able to resist the feeling of being judged by those they know. This can become a huge hurdle that any successful couple with a big age-gap has to get through.
All in all, dating someone older partner can be a mixed bag. However, but if you can get over the maturity gap, life-stage gap and social stigma, there’s nothing to stop you dating someone older and having a fulfilling relationship that satisfies both partners!