Guys, regardless of if you have read my previous blog post or not (but if you haven’t, check it out ASAP) I want to follow it up with this post’s subject. So, let’s talk about the early warning signs that things might go nowhere. The warning signs that I’m about to discuss with you revolve around those early days. You know, your first date or the little honeymoon period where you’ve dated them for a short while, but, tiny signs may have started to crop up showing cracks in what seemed like a promising situation…
First Date Warning Signs
Look, I’m not saying that I am an expert or anything but, on a first date it is usually clear to me whether it might go somewhere or not. In fact, give me half an hour with them and I’ll tell you, because I got that skill down to a science now! Quick note; I’ve been meaning to say this for a while now but, from my personal observation, I find a lot of people treat dating a lot like a job interview.
That approach is just the strangest thing to me because it’s so clinical. For me, it’s all about the aura of the person. Personally, I don’t really care if you are a cosmonaut or a sculptor, or if you have 10 dogs or you collect cars. However, if you are an a**hole and I don’t like your vibe from the start, then it’s a dead end, as well as the hugest warning sign there is! I also think it’s pretty easy to determine whether the person is shady or not from the first date, because no matter how confident you may be, everyone is always slightly vulnerable when they are nervous.
Anyway, aside from that, the warning signs to look out for on the first date will be quite obvious, quite quickly. There will be the signs that you’ve heard about time and time again like; you don’t have much to talk about, they/you are constantly on the lookout while on the date (perhaps for a potentially… more interesting date) and there is no mention of anything you could do on your next date. Signs like that which basically reflect a vibe that is just …bleh and no one wants …bleh on a first date! I’m sorry to have to say this, but what’s the point of going on a second date with this person if you didn’t feel like jumping on each other on the first one?! You really think that some kind of magical spark is going to appear on the second round of “interviews”, I highly doubt it!
If You Are Already In Too Deep…
Unfortunately, sometimes dating can be a bit like playing Russian Roulette, in that you never know what to expect around the corner. You may start dating someone and actually find it’s going really well (Yay!) Then… three weeks later… it’s all tits up with you sitting there wondering what happened, while you’re analyzing everything you said or did last time you saw them! (Boo!)
By “tits up” I am, of course, referring to the great ghosting you never see coming. You know, when all of the sudden they are ‘super busy’, or they don’t have time to commit right now, or some other bullshit excuse! Well my dears, in this case, all I can tell you is that you’ve just been played by a f**kboy (or girl, let’s not discriminate here.) This ‘species’ of human knew all along exactly what they were doing. They usually have it planned out from the very beginning, from how to get you into their web and then how to disappear or whatever they do in the end.
I’ve heard a lot of horror stories like that, where I was genuinely so excited for my friend, only to find out a couple of weeks later that the fairytale was officially over. I guess from my astute observations, the warning signs that you’re entering into f**boy territory with your new mate are as follows;
- Too Smooth: High Alert! Everything is suspiciously well planned, as in they never ask your opinion on where you’d like to go, but they’ve always got it all booked already (if they take you to a place on the first date where the staff already knows them, it’s the usual place they normally take their ‘prey’ too. It’s the environment where they feel the most comfortable.)
- They Run Hot, Then Really Cold: Let me set up the scenario with an example. They’ll do something like text you straight after your first date, a message like; “I had a great time, let’s do this again soon”, BUT they then disappear for about a week or so, leaving you hanging for a bit YET, by doing so, they’ll still be keeping you keen.
- Mistaking Your Identity: Eventually they’ll make a mistake by taking you somewhere and saying something like; “What was that thing you had last time, I would like to order it”. Then, you’ll slowly realize you have no idea what they’re talking about because you’ve never been there before! Meaning, it wasn’t you but someone else they went with. Busted but it’s a lucky escape for you!
- Sudden Bouts of Amnesia: Obviously, one of the most obvious warning signs is when they don’t really remember anything about you, details wise. Or when they look at you, they kind of just look through you. No one deserves that! So, don’t ever accept not being seen!
Moral of the story guys, follow your gut instinct. If you are a spiritual, sensitive soul like me when it comes to people’s aura, you’ll know that if it feels icky on the first date, or if neither of you feel any warm fuzzy feelings towards each other, or the world doesn’t start to slow down when you look at each other (not from the amount of alcohol, though) then just drop it… Next!
Basically, once you see any of the early warning signs that things might go nowhere, make your escape. Don’t be afraid to hold out for something that will truly take your breath away 🙂