Chances are you’ve already heard of the term (but hopefully not experienced it) but today, we’re going to talk about gaslighting, especially in the context of dating. If you haven’t heard of it or aren’t quite sure what it is, gaslighting is emotional manipulation to make someone doubt their own judgement, beliefs or perceptions, leading to low self-esteem. Sometimes, it’s hard to see the clues when you’re in a situation but, here are 5 signs you’re experiencing gaslighting when dating…
When you and the person you’re seeing/dating face conflict and they’ve done something wrong, it somehow becomes your fault. If you’re experiencing gaslighting when dating, they’ll never take responsibility for their bad behaviour. To the point of them even blaming you when you get upset about their behaviour. Even if they started the fight, you’re somehow always the one apologising and that’s not ok. Growth is all about taking responsibility.
Don’t let anyone try and tell you something you heard or
saw isn’t true, when you know it is.
This is a classic move for someone who is gaslighting when dating. You know what you’ve seen or heard, they know what you’ve seen or heard and they deny it anyway. This, over time, will make you start to doubt yourself. This will chip away at your confidence. Don’t let anyone try and tell you something you heard or saw isn’t true, when you know it is.
Another ‘tactic’ that a gaslighter has is lovebombing. This is when they know that you’re feeling suspicious of them. They pull out all the stops early on by being extra attentive and protective. Once they’ve got you convinced, that vibe quickly turns to possessive. They start ordering for you, telling you what to wear, who to hang out etc. This is a massive red flag that cannot be ignored.
Once they start to discredit you to everyone you know
in an attempt to make you feel isolated, you definitely know
you’re experiencing gaslighting when dating.
Once they start to discredit you to everyone you know in an attempt to make you feel isolated, you definitely know you’re experiencing gaslighting when dating. In addition to this, they’ll likely show you concern and, without your side of the story, your nearest and dearest may start believing the gaslighter. In fact, the gaslighter might feed you lies about what people are saying about you.
If your gut is telling you that you’re experiencing gaslighting, then trust your gut and think about next steps. There are a lot of resources available if you want to talk to a professional.
So, there you have it. 5 signs you’re experiencing gaslighting when dating. Remember it’s not your fault that this is happening to you. It is all down to the gaslighter. You didn’t do anything to deserve it. Be safe out there guys!