So, let’s talk about casual dating. We all know that it’s not news nowadays if someone is playing the field a little. After all, we all tend to date several people at the same time at the start. If back in the day you would be labeled as a ‘player’ or a ‘hoe’, these days it’s become the complete norm. In fact, it’s almost expected. When you start dating someone new, it doesn’t come as a shock to find out that your date is also seeing other people. I’ve been in several situations when someone I’ve dated turned out to be doing a little serial casual dating of their own, but also (guilty as charged) I’ve done the same thing myself. It can be really exciting, but also, I found a lot of complications that came along with it…
The Early Stages of Dating, Defined
Personally, I see nothing wrong with dating multiple people at once. For YOU, it can be a great confidence boost. I mean, you meet loads of new people and it’s the easiest way to find out what you’re truly looking for in a person. However, let’s clarify and define dating because I want to be clear; when I say “I see nothing wrong with dating multiple people at once”, I am talking about the very early stages of dating. You know, right at the beginning where you’ve only met a couple of times and you’re just getting to know each other and, of course, there’s been no sex (ok, possibly there might have been some other ‘stuff’, we’re not judging!)
Essentially, it’s the early days when you haven’t known each other long enough to have gotten to the awkward situation where you ask them; “Wait, are you still sleeping with other people!?” Because that, my dears, is no longer casual dating! If you’ve gotten to this stage, things are clearly going somewhere serious, so this kind of behavior is then the equivalent of being used like a public toilet. The person you’re dating is now showing signs that they are not, in fact, there to actually meet someone. They’re there to mess around, aka. fuckboy/girl alert! Time to run!
Casual Dating and its Health Benefits
Look, I know everyone will have different views but I think going on multiple dates is healthy, especially if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship. It’s an active way to get it out of your system (and no, I don’t mean by sleeping with all these new people, unless that’s what you want to do!) I think it can be great and good for the soul. For one thing, you aren’t obliged to do anything, you get to learn a lot of new things about yourself and, along the way, you get to meet some really cool people that you may (or may not) end up being friends with. However, from experience, I can tell you it can get quite confusing. Honestly, I would say that if you want to meet someone serious and you are tired of dating, then casual dating is not the option for you.
I find that with casual dating, trying to concentrate on every person as an individual when you’re dating them all at once, is akin to memorizing rocket science formulas. I mean it’s hard enough to concentrate on one as it is! When you add two, three or whatever to the mix in one go, your brain may actually explode from all that unnecessary information. (A little health warning, if ever there was one…)
Casual Dating as a Learning Curve
Like most things, casual dating has its pros and cons depending on who you ask and their situation. However, the bottom line is that after you’re done casual dating and you feel that you are ready to meet someone serious, you should have learnt a lot about yourself from that experience. Casual dating should have shown you what you like and dislike. By going out with a range of people, you’ll get to know yourself even better, meaning you are not going to go on a date with just anyone (or purely based on their looks.)
Also, let me highlight, whenever I’ve committed a crime of casual dating myself, I’ve always confessed that I’m dating other people. I have always felt they had a right to know that, as well as if I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Honesty is always key and no one likes to be on the other end where they’ve invested themselves in a person, only to find out months later that they don’t want to commit, plus they’re still seeing other people on the side. That never ends well…
So, there you have it my dears, casual dating can be lots of fun AND healthy, BUT always be honest with the other people involved by laying your cards on the table in the early stages. Don’t let it become your life or let it define you, as it can become very addictive. Anyways, spring is here (sort of), so go put yourself out there and meet all those fabulous people who have come out of hiding now that the sun is (kind of) out!