How many times did you spend hours and nights after a first date, wondering to yourself, is he/she interested? Why hasn’t she/he called? Should I text first? Will I get a second date?
Why does it always have to be a guessing game? Does no one have the balls to show feelings anymore? Is everyone too delicate for rejection these days?
Enough with all the theories and dating rules. Time to be practical.
You’re on a first date, you like the girl/guy, you absolutely want to see him/her again. You don’t want to wait around and drive yourself crazy by staring at your phone for weeks after the first date…
So, what do you have to do to score a second date, while still being on the first date?
The answer is quite simple…
Show your date that you are interested
Yes, if you want a second date, tell them! Or make your intent as obvious as possible (without blatantly telling them) for the shy and fragile flowers out there.
I’ve recently sat in on a friend’s first date (as an observer, a third wheel, call it whatever you want. It’s another story for another time.) and I have noticed one thing. Just because both parties are having a friendly and fun conversation, doesn’t mean your date knows how you feel about them.
Why? Because everybody acts so damn cool and friendly these days! It makes it ridiculously hard to tell whether they are genuinely interested, or just being nice. 99% of the people are too shy to say, “I really like you, I want to see you again” up front (You disagree? Well aren’t you the lucky 1%. Stop reading right now, you don’t need advice at all.) For the rest of us, here are a few things that may help:
1) Put your phone away
I know, you are probably on a first date right now frantically googling on your phone about how to get a second date. If so, put the phone away!
Using the phone during a date is really the rudest thing you can do. Unless you are a health care professional with genuine life threatening emergency. Put that damn thing away. Nothing shows you’re more uninterested than checking your phone. Not even for a second to check the time/messages/tweet/news/or whatever the eff you kids look at these days. If you absolutely have to bloody check your phone because you’re an addict, be polite and ask for permission. “I’m sorry, is it ok if I have my emails cos I’m a self-important jack ass and the world is gonna collapse if I don’t answer this one message/tweet/email/snapchat?”
2) Talk about things you could do together in the future
No, I’m not talking about moving to the suburb and having 3 kids and a dog together.
I’m talking about little things, things that you both like and could do together. You both like hiking? Have you done x, y and z trail? Is that something to try together? You both like pizza but disagree on a favourite pizza joint? Why not do a pizza crawl and taste test? Hasn’t your date seen Citizen Kane? Plan a movie night and school him/her on Rosebud!
How do you find out these things you can do together? Easy: during your first date have a good chat about your date’s interests and find what you have in common. Then, find something that you would both would like to do based on your interests and could do together. The more you talk about things that you can do together shows that the future is bright and there are many more fun dates to come. Definitely something to look forward to!
3) Don’t run away from your date
It’s the end of the date. Don’t just walk away! Linger a little, hold the hug for a few seconds longer. Make more eye contact. Not that you guys have to go to 3rd base on the street, but at least some physical contact. Peck on the cheek/lips/hand (no no groping, no tongue – unless you guys are planning on sex. If that’s the case, stop reading. This article doesn’t apply to you).
Here’s another tip. Always use the bathroom before your departure. So you’ll have plenty of time to linger, and have a pleasant last chat to end your first date.
4) Tell your date that you had a good time and want to see him/her again
The most “frightening” one. Tell it to their face at the end of the date! Not via text/tweet/facebook/snapchat afterwards. Make eye contact and say: “it was fun, let’s do this again sometime.” Practice in the mirror a few times. It’s not that awkward. At least you get it out of your chest and it’s the quickest way you can find out whether your feeling is reciprocated. If it is, great, you got yourself another date. If it’s not, you can move on without wasting time contemplating for the rest of the week. It’s really a win win.
Hope this helps. Good luck on your first date AND scoring a second date! Let us know how it goes!