Meet/Eat/Love (MEL) #12
Do you hear the sound of Crickets?
And no, we are not talking about being out in the countryside. We’re talking about your text messaging game.
The guy/girl you’ve matched with, the one you initially had good banter with over text, just isn’t replying anymore (or is texting back with one-word replies when he/she does finally reply).
What happened? Are they losing interest? Well in theory, it could be anything, but let’s make sure it’s not because of your bland, boring texts!
Read on for 10 tips on how to ignite your messaging game:
Avoid the “Hi, how are you doing”
Yes, let’s get this one out of the way first. It’s the easiest thing to text, but it’s because it takes zero effort. Because it’s so generic, it’s also really easy to read over and get no response. This one’s response is guaranteed crickets.
Pictures are worth a thousand words. Ever wonder why IG and Snapchat are so popular, AND did you know that the best engagements on Facebook are with pics and videos? We are visual beings, so let’s use that to our advantage. Next time, send a pic to get the convo going again. It can be a pic of something you guys have talked about before or a pic of you (but guys, no dick pics please!) or something funny (see #8 below).
This one I have to say is kinda genius. Offer to help pick up something at Waitrose. There’s always something you need right? Milk, sugar, bread… bag of crisps. You get the hint. With our busy lives, who can say no to help? It’s one less thing on the to-do list!
Don’t Be a Debbie Downer
While it’s easy to blow off steam and vent via text – “Today blows,” “My boss sucks,” “I can’t stand the weather today” – don’t do it. These messages are negative and who likes reading anything negative? Let’s avoid these and save them for your mom or BFF.
Make Fun Plans
“Hey I have extra Coachella tix, wanna join?” is way more engaging than, “Hey, what are you doing?” (Actually, this one is just as bad as the example in #1). Fine, maybe not everyone has an extra Coachella tix, but you get the point. People are attracted to fun activities. Pick a common hobby you guys share and shoot over a text to see if they’re game. Be proactive.
Set A Deadline
When appropriate, you can set a deadline. This one works especially well if you are traveling and you’re not in the same place for very long. “Hi, it’s my last week here in Barcelona, let’s grab farewell drinks.” The deadline gives the other person an end date to meet up or not meet up. Or you can also work this in if you are not traveling. “Hi, there’s a special exhibit only on Saturday, wanna join me?” Again, limited time encourages action.
Sometimes being direct is refreshing. Just cut to the chase and say, “I’d like to see you again, care to meet-up today?” Who has time to text back and forth when all you really want is to hangout in person again?!
Humour lightens the mood and evokes positive emotion. Send a funny gif, pic (remember tip #2) or witty joke. Everyone needs a good laugh to brighten his or her day.
Following-up on what the other person has said in a previous convo is a good one because it shows that you were paying attention and that you care. For example, “Hey, how did your presentation go?” or “Hey, how are you liking your new flat?” It’s always good to be thoughtful.
Avoid Being Creepy
Cyber-stalking is a given, but if you’ve already matched and have been chatting, why not ask them for their IG or Snapchat? Otherwise please refrain from asking them about the amazing beaches in Portugal because you saw them posted on IG. *Um, how did you find my account?!
That said, if you send bland texts, you’d get no replies or bland replies. Try one or all of the tips above and up your messaging game. However, remember it does take two to tango and if you’re not getting the response back… here’s a bonus tip…move on. Life’s too short. 🙂
Happy dating! Ms. Mel