The key to enjoying a successful, long-lasting relationship is regular maintenance. Like your garden or your car, you must nurture the relationship and never take it for granted.
All committed and intimate relationships have their difficulties. Relationships are organic. They require two people to be involved and committed. Relationships are affected by the individuality of the couple as well as a multitude of other people who are connected to the couple.
Accept that what happens to your partner will affect you, just as what happens to you will affect your partner. Understanding this is the first step toward to fix problems in a relationship.
The second step towards to fix a long-term relationship is preventive maintenance. The cliché that states that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure also applies to relationships. As a couple, you must commit to a set of rules that apply to both of you, not only to build trust, but also to foster open and healthy communication, whether you are conversing or arguing.
Communication is the key to learning how to mend relationships. Open and accepting communication should be your goal, but think about the rules listed above. Most of them are associated with communication. Mainly, never insult your partner in any way. It is the quickest way to close the door to hearing what your partner has to say. Name-calling is childish behavior that lends itself to anger on a whim. It can also leave a lasting impression and make your partner resistant to those forms of argument or confrontation again. If you are angry with your partner and are trying to resolve a problem, institute the five-second rule. Count to five before you say any words you are thinking. Not only will this help you avoid insults, but it will also allow you to express your thoughts in clear, concise terms and keep you from using words as weapons. Remember that no matter how sorry you are, words can’t be erased once you’ve said them.
Communication is the key to learning how to mend relationships
It is very easy in a long-term relationship to take your partner’s presence for granted. You should be careful to avoid this by planning time together. It’s easy to plan to go to many places as a couple and go out with friends or family as a couple, but don’t be afraid to just go somewhere together without family or friend commitments. It’s healthy to remember that you two enjoy doing things together.
The last may seem extreme, but the more time you and your partner spend doing things away from each other, the more likely you are to become more like roommates or long-term friends than a couple. Take time together, whether it’s planning a date night once a week or shutting down everything work or friend-related after nine o’clock every night so you can focus with attention and love on each other.
Think about how you both were in the early days of your relationship when you couldn’t get enough of each other. It’s good to remember that you know how to have fun together and spend time doing that, instead of letting your lives pull you apart.
The more time you and your partner spend doing things away from each other, the more likely you are to become more long-term friends than a couple
Sit down and make a list of the top ten things you think are wrong with your relationship. Ask your partner to do the same. Then, together tear up those lists and make a top ten list of how each of you can fix the problems in your relationship. Make your relationship a priority as a couple. You have too much time, emotion and energy invested in each other not to make it the number one priority for both of you.