4 WAYS TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY WHEN DATING
Anyone here a Nick Jonas fan? It has to be said, his solo stuff kind of slaps (sorry Joe, you tried but we still love you!) One of his best songs has got to be ‘Jealous’. It really does capture a lot of how it feels when you’re experiencing jealousy when dating. Plus, it’s always interesting to hear a guy being open about those feelings and how his partner isn’t to blame for them as well. Look the green-eyed monster has hit us all, whether it’s dating or otherwise. We can all relate, but it’s definitely an emotion that can become overwhelming to the point of actually causing a hinderance to your daily life. So, what do you do when you feel the green tendrils of jealousy teasing you? Well, here are 4 ways to deal with jealousy when dating…
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Communicate with whoever you’re dating
It can be scary to open up to someone, especially when you’re in the earlier stages of dating. Everything feels very fragile and you don’t want to do anything to scare them off. However, if you internalise the jealous thoughts you’re having, chances are you’ll make things seem even worse in your head. You’ll come up with even more negative, irrational thoughts to support your thinking. Talking about jealousy when dating can help you confront where the feelings are coming from and can give you peace of mind. Obviously, don’t go in with a ton of accusations like ‘I saw you looking at that person at the bar!’ Just be open about how you’re feeling and if they run, it wasn’t meant to be. If you want to find people on your wavelength, check out CLiKD!
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How you react to feelings of jealousy says a lot. If your
first extinct is that this person is ‘dead to you’ because
they smiled at someone else, it’s time to take a step
back and regroup.
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Be realistic and don’t let your imagination run away with you
First, you need to look at the situation you’re in. If you and the person you’re seeing have agreed to be casual and see other people, but you’re feeling jealous, you may need to decide if you want to continue things or open up about wanting more. If you’re getting upset anytime the person you’re dating interacts with anyone who isn’t you, some internal examination on your part is definitely needed. How you react to feelings of jealousy says a lot. If your first extinct is that this person is ‘dead to you’ because they smiled at someone else, it’s time to take a step back and regroup. It’s also important to keep a level head and not go from ‘oh they asked the bartender if they’re having a goodnight’ to ‘OMG, they must be into them and ready to cheat.’
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Don’t try and combat it by trying to make them jealous
One way to not deal with jealousy when dating is thinking you should go for ‘an eye for an eye’ approach. For one thing, it’s fairly immature to think that because someone is making you feel insecure (and it might not be intentional) that you have to play games and make them feel the same way. For one thing, this can completely backfire and for another, no one wants to date someone who intentionally tries to hurt them when they’re feeling sh**ty. Just approach it like an adult and talk to them about it!
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Maybe they’re always flirting with someone they’ve
said you shouldn’t worry about or their ex is still in the
picture and you feel like you’re experiencing benching.
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Trust your gut
Sometimes, there’s absolutely nothing to be jealous of and we’re just nervous about being in a vulnerable position and there being a potential to get hurt. If that’s the case, it can be completely normal to have negative thoughts that can be potentially self-sabotaging. The key is to acknowledge and work through them. However, it’s quite another thing if they’re showing signs of cheating or red flags in general. Maybe they’re always flirting with someone they’ve said you shouldn’t worry about or their ex is still in the picture and you feel like you’re experiencing benching. Don’t automatically jump to conclusions, but also be realistic and trust your instincts.
So, there you have it! 4 ways to deal with jealousy when dating. Just remember to approach it rationally and don’t internalise the feelings and let them fester. That’s not healthy for anyone.
