You had a relationship and it didn’t work. You broke up. After, you suffered and told yourself you’d never ever get into another relationship again! Time passes and then, all of a sudden, you’ve finished school/university and missed some opportunities to meet someone. In the meantime, a lot of your friends coupled up. Now, you feel trapped. Alone, but with no idea how to overcome the feeling of loneliness and get back out there.
Now, your friends or family notice your loneliness and encourage you to overcome it. Some suggest you trying dating apps. CLiKD seems to be a good choice. You tentatively choose one person to try but, cautious after your past experiences and still battling your feelings of loneliness, you struggle to relax and be comfortable trusting someone again. This leads to you undermining the relationship even if it had the potential to be something special. After a while, it stops working out between the two of you. Dating again starts to feel like a waste of time, right?! Is this the universe subtly saying “You’re destined to be alone!”?
Ironically, you are not alone!
A study by The Co-op and the British Red Cross revealed that over 9 million people in the UK across all adult ages – more than the population of London – are either always or often lonely.
We’re built to seek social companionship and understanding
Human beings are an ultra-social species. Our nervous systems expect us to have others around us. According to biology, neuroscience, psychology and more, our bodies actually tend to work better when we are not alone.
Loneliness is seen by many as one of the largest health concerns we face. Why? Here are the facts:
Health risks of loneliness:
- Loneliness, living alone and poor social connections are as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (Holt-Lunstad, 2010)
- Loneliness is worse for you than obesity. (Holt-Lunstad, 2010)
- Lonely people are more likely to suffer from dementia, heart disease and depression. (Valtorta et al, 2016) (James et al, 2011) (Cacioppo et al, 2006)
- Loneliness is likely to increase your risk of death by 29% (Holt-Lunstad, 2015)
Hold on! It’s not all bad!
These feelings provide us with information about the way we view ourselves, the world and others. We can all find insight and wisdom from our encounters with loneliness, when we look beneath the surface. A great technique for this introspection.
Take action and try a positive approach
Project yourself into the future. Try and visualize yourself at the age of 60 or 70, alone. Ask yourself, “If I were young again, would I change anything? What ways would I come up with to fight the loneliness?”Overcoming loneliness is far more challenging than we realize. The only solution is to take action and give yourself the benefit of doubt. Approach the feelings with positivity and shake off the disappointment, quickly.
As many people are experiencing burnouts and breakups from shallow dating, there will be a deeper longing for something purer. However, there are simple ways to find someone of character that don’t require tricks and fancy appearances.
Practice, patience and perseverance. A big part of finding the right partner is beingthe right partner. People get hung up on finding the right partner. In other words, be trustworthy, patient, kind, calm and humble.
We’re here to help, but now it’s up to you
So, put yourself out there. By doing this, you’ll begin to overcome your loneliness and it’s never hurt to take some inspiration from Jimmy Cliff:
‘You have to try, try and try and you’ll succeed at last’
CLiKD are here to help usher in this new trend of authenticity. Simple, real solutions will help people smile more and stress less. This is for the people who want to get back to being real and make dating a lot clearer.
Now, the ball’s in your court!