Let’s set the scene; you’re meeting a friend and before you’ve even sat down they’re breathlessly telling you about the new person they’ve been seeing and how they’re official, eek! You sink slowly to your seat, a fixed smile on your face. You already know what’s coming next. You let them finish, they turn to you and finally ask the dreaded question; “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”
You say no. You’re fine, you’re enjoying life and hanging with friends. Now cue the awkwardness when they give you a shocked look and go “Really?! You’re not seeing anyone at all?!” Then watch as they switch to a pitying look while they tell you how nice that is but not to worry, they’re sure you’ll meet someone lovely. If they could do it, you can too!… Excuse me?! Is it a crime to enjoy being single for a while? Since when is hanging out with friends something to be pitied?! The Beatles weren’t wrong when they sang “I get by with a little help from my friends.”
So, inspired by a lovely friend date I went on at a very cute pub recently (with a friend who lives with her boyfriend by the way, friend dates aren’t limited to only single people or women either, take note lads) I would like to share with you the perks of friend dates.
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.
Society can have us so focused on finding a mate and marking everything else until you meet said mate as just passing the time. We’re supposed to always be on the lookout…without making it obvious we’re on the lookout (yeah, I’ve never gotten how that side of it is meant to work either.) But why must we always be dating for a romantic purpose? Dating is a good way to get to know someone better, so why limit it to just romantic or sexual liaisons? Friend dates are just as great, if not greater! It’s never a bad call to see if a friendship has potential to grow and deepen.
There is the ‘one soulmate vs. multiple soulmates’ argument of course, but the truth is soulmates can be friends too! I am definitely on the multiple soulmate’s train by the way. I mean a) one of anything isn’t really providing options or room for error and b) the fates get stuff wrong all the time (fates, I mean that in the nicest way possible so please continue to be kind to me, thanks bye!) My point is, everyone comes into your life for a reason. You can mature, learn and change as a person in any relationship, friendships included. Friend dates are also the perfect way to keep up with what’s going on each other lives when things get hectic.
Sometimes you can find that when you’ve known someone for so long, you don’t talk as often or as candidly as you used to. You can also find that there’s a friend you only really see at social group events but you never gotten the chance to really hang out one on one and get to know them better. Well, there’s no time like the present to call up that friend you wish you knew better and make it happen!
Now, I’m sure we all know that dating has its ups and downs (if you’re dating life only has ups then you are basically a unicorn who must teach the rest of us your ways ASAP.) There’s the questions of where is it acceptable to go, what should you wear, what topics are ok to discuss and when, is it a casual thing, is it too early to ask if they’re still seeing other people, blah blah blah. Then there is the constant question of wondering when your date expects the two of you to take things to the next level, if you follow my drift 😉
It’s a lot of pressure with a lot of room for disappointment or confusion but with friend dates, the only expectation is that you have a good time. For a friend date, presumably, no one is expecting you dress up, no one is expecting you to be on your best behaviour, no topic is off limits, no one is expecting you to pay for them and there will be no awkward moment when you’re trying to decide if the date was worthy of ending in a kiss, an invite upstairs or just an awkward wave.
With a friend date, if you are truly good friends that is, you can relax. With friendships, there’s more room for imperfections. A date can quickly decide to rule you out as a possible match because of all manner of quirks. Friends are the ones who tell you that anyone would be lucky to have you and your quirks in their life, remember that.
Two is company, three plus is a party!
Most traditional dating practices (unless you’re polyamorous) revolve around monogamy. For the most part, you’re expected to date or be with one partner at a time (unless it’s a casual arrangement of course, ain’t nothing wrong with that as long everybody is on the same page.) The great thing about friends is that the limit does not exist (little Mean Girls reference there) you can have as little or as many friends as you want.
Whoever says you can have too many friends is wrong. There are all manner of friends that you will have and do different things with. You might have a friend who you only go to exhibitions with, you might have a friend who is always up for clubbing, endless possibilities. The best thing is that there is no bad time to make new friends either. Everywhere you go is a potential place to meet new peeps and if you want to expand your dating app experience, quite a few offer a friendship options including CLiKD!
So if you’re nervous about going up to people and saying ‘be my friend!’ get swiping to meet people who share your interests and passions with CLiKD, the creative dating app that lets you find like-minded people.