By now, we’ve all probably heard the term polyamorous. Whether you’ve seen people state that’s their lifestyle on dating apps or you have friends who are polyamorous. However, do you know what polyamory is? Let’s get into it! Essentially, it’s the state of having multiple loving, intimate relationships at the same time. Yes, it’s a type of open relationship. All those involved have to consent and all partners are aware of each other. In fact, there are instances where they may actually know each other too. No, it’s not cheating, as long as you’re not violating any boundaries you and your partners have set. For example, it is cheating if you’ve decided you’re polyamorous, but it’s not something your partner is aware of. Every relationship is different which is important to know if you’re interested in the lifestyle. So, here are 4 types of polyamorous relationships to learn about…
This is when polyamorous people have their primary partnerships and they use a hierarchical system to define the rest. The primary partnership is the one they dedicate more time and attention too. Primary partnerships can be marriages or a long-term relationship. They may live together or even have kids, every couple is different. With hierarchical polyamory, not all partners are deemed equal in terms of relationship intensity. There are secondary and tertiary partners. This is usually the type of relationship that comes to mind when people hear the term ‘polyamorous.’ If you’re looking for someone who lives a lifestyle similar to yours, check out CLiKD!
There are also some people who practice solo polyamory
and see themselves as their own primary partner, yes
Not all polyamorous people are in a relationship or even interested in having a primary partner. Instead, solo polyamory is for people who still want to maintain an independence in their personal lives, but want the freedom to date multiple people. Some people see this as the equivalent of having multiple secondary partners. There are also some people who practice solo polyamory and see themselves as their own primary partner, yes to self-love!
Like the name suggests, this is more or less the opposite of hierarchical polyamory. There is no set system in terms of which relationship is prioritised. This can be an arrangement when all partners get the same amount of time and attention, as well as equal input in life decisions. It can also be one of those polyamorous relationships where the amount of time and attention on partners varies over time.
These types of polyamorous relationships also mean
that there’s constant support from all involved and
everyone sort of becomes your ‘chosen family.’
This probably sounds like an odd name, but kitchen table polyamory just means that having a community/close connection to all involved in the relationship is imperative. So, they just want to make sure that everyone would feel comfortable sitting around a kitchen table together, having a meal. This may involve doing specific activities together like having game nights or trips together. These types of polyamorous relationships also mean that there’s constant support from all involved and everyone sort of becomes your ‘chosen family.’
So, there you have it! 4 types of polyamorous relationships to learn about. If this is a lifestyle you’re interested in and you already have a partner, there are ways to broach the subject and gauge their interest. Maybe you can start by watching a film that has a polyamorous couple or ask what they think of a couple you know. Remember, this is not a lifestyle anyone should feel be pressured to try or judged for being a part of.