You get your glad rags on, you bring your best behaviour and you bask in the awkwardness of getting to know someone. Ultimately, anyone can make it through a first date, so why is it that hardly anyone speaks about the second date!?
There is a lot of social pressure that surrounds the first date. The copious amounts of messages sent back and forth. Trying to suss out if he wants to see you by analysing and decoding his messages and emoji choice. Hoping that he asks you out, but knowing in the back of your mind his venue choice speaks volumes. Everyone knows that first dates are based off initial attraction, finding that all important common ground – if any at all – and creating the best first impression possible.
Importance of the second date
Firstly, it’s the chance for the pair of you to relax. The first date might not have gone as swimmingly as you’d hoped, but they have agreed to another date. So something must have gone right, right? In fact (in a poll) we found that 52% of people would still go on a second date without having felt that immediate spark on the first date.
Now you’re finally passed all the generic stuff like; “What’s your job?”, “How many siblings do you have?”, “Where do you live?” You can delve into slightly more personal territory, finding out each other’s peculiar interests and ambitions. Your conversation will start to gain more depth and you’ll be able to gage if there’s potential for sparks to fly, if they haven’t already.
However, let’s face it. Not everyone we date is going to be the one and if you’re getting that vibe, then you’ve got yourself a case of ‘the second date blues’. We’ve established by the second date you will naturally take a more relaxed approached, meaning you’re not full of nerves and you can see things more clearly. Just see the first date as you wearing beer goggles – during, you may realise that what was a really cute geeky laugh at first is now an insufferable howl.
It’s fine to notice these turn offs, no one is promising you marriage on the second date, so let your guard down! Find out what it is you like and don’t like. Be honest with your date about your expectations and intentions, so you’re both on the same page.
Where to go?
We’ve established this date is more personal than the first, so your date venue should reflect this. Be thoughtful, be creative, be different. Throughout your conversations, they may have mentioned something that they really enjoy doing or you may remember they mentioned their favourite meal or activity. Going somewhere that specialises in said activity would be a great date idea and gain you instant brownies points!
If you have a particular interest, hobby or even have a favourite restaurant, you should take your date there. This next date can be a better reflection of you, showcasing your interests. You are subtly inviting them to enjoy your lifestyle with you, it sends a good message displaying you have a lot of hope and promise for the future of your relationship. I’m using the word“relationship”very loosely, don’t freak out commitment-phobes!
Getting creative is also another great way to woo. Millennials are always looking for something different to do, so start thinking outside of the box. Attend an art class, go to an exhibition or museum. Go rock climbing or Go Ape – remember not everyone is a Lara Croft/ Action Man, so you may need to leave the latter. You get the drift though, go somewhere fun but memorable, you are bound to be the topic of their group chat.
To wrap this up..
You may not want to take our word for it, so we ran a poll and a whopping 94% of people agreed that the second date is just as important as the first, so all of us here at CLiKD (and the extra 94%) can’t all be wrong. Take our advice and thrive in the dating scene! If it goes well you won’t have to worry about attending another one again.
Amongst remembering all your dating etiquette don’t forget to HAVE FUN!
By Kaylyn Nesbeth