Your ordering the check, the date has gone really great, you really feel like this guy, he is something else, and now the waiter puts the check in the middle of the table… awkward silence… what do you do? What will he do? Will he pay on the first date??!
And now you are telling yourself, “Should I offer to pay my part, should I just wait and see what he does, will he offer to pay only his part, or will he pay the whole bill without asking me? And why is this so damn awkward! What do I do?!”
First, take a breath!
So, there are a lot of untold truths when it comes to if he should pay on the first date and it comes down to 2 things really; culture and pride. I don’t mean it comes down to the culture and pride of the guy, no, it comes down to the culture and pride of both, you and the guy. Let me explain…
We all come from diverse backgrounds and even though it may be hard for some to admit, many cultures are not as modern as we westerners think. Latin American cultures, for example, have a huge tendency to push men to be the money providers in relationships. That extends to who should pay on the first date. Girls in those cultures usually tend to agree that they want to be taken care of monetarily.
Compared to North American and Western European cultures, they tend to think differently about whether the men have to pay for the woman’s dinner. She can pay it herself without a problem. Understanding the cultural background of the person you are having dinner with is crucial.
The pride and arrogance of any individual can be a big turn off, both for girls and for guys. If your companion is offering to pay on the first date and, let us say he is a Spicy Latino, and you are western girl who prefers to split; when the guy offers to pay on the first date and you say no, you may hurt his feelings. From his end, he is merely doing what his culture conditioned him to do. To be the “gentleman that pays”.
Now, if we flip the scenario and the guy is a western guy and you are the Sexy Spicy Señorita; the bill comes and he looks at you and you stare blankly at the side wall. You’re thinking to yourself, “hope he pays the bill fast, why is he looking at me so much?” He, as a western man, would be expecting you to at least do “The Wallet Dance” and offer to pay your own part without hesitation. Now, he clearly sees you have no intention of paying your part, much less the whole bill. So now he is being forced to pay the bill himself. Again, you are a Sexy Spicy Señorita that has been conditioned to expect the man to always pay the dinner bill, that’s normal for you.
This is where pride is the worst enemy. If neither of you can speak up and say what is on your mind to resolve this awkward situation, then this relationship is already starting wrong.
Communication is key and leaving your pride at the front door is crucial. So, what is the key to successful communication? – good intimate connections!
That is why on CLiKD, our aim is to help you find that incredible connection that will truly respect your cultural norms and where you will respect theirs. On CLiKD, you can find the right match by not just matching with someone based on looks, but on personality and values! Adventure or love? Who should pay on the first date? Pineapple on pizza?
Meet the right person that fits your personality!
There is no right answer to who should pay the bill, because there is no right answer to which culture is the correct culture. We are all so different and we all expect different things from our partners. If you are looking for a guy that wants to split, perfect. There are many guys out there that would love that. If you are looking for a man that will pay your every bill, trust us there are so many Spicy Latinos out there just craving to be your Sugar Daddies. Just have fun and enjoy your dinner 😉