Today, I thought that we could talk about who should pay the bill on the first date. Apparently, it’s a minefield for millennial daters, so perhaps I should tread carefully around the matter. But the thing is, the answer is ‘so slap you in the face blindingly obvious’, that it seems ridiculous to even have to be writing about this! The idea that genitalia should determine who is responsible for feeding both mouths is absolutely absurd. Let’s just take a moment to make sure we’re all on the same page… equality is what we’re aiming for, right?!

Tale As Old As Time

We’ve all had a (probably one-sided) conversation with someone who was complaining, in absolute shock and horror, that the guy didn’t offer to pay for her dinner. If not, we’ve all at least overheard a conversation like it, probably whilst on the morning commute because they’re not bad enough already… You know the drill, the dater in question would be blabbering on about their dreadful experience from the previous night for the whole of Friday morning’s train to hear because, apparently, the worst thing that could happen on a date in her eyes is that she had to pay for her own meal. GASP!

There’s a little role-play that some people seemed to have nailed to a T, I’ll give you the run-down if you don’t already know it… So, the bill arrives at the table, the man puffs out his chest and whips out his wallet as the woman reaches tenderly for her purse, clearly waiting for him to stop her. ‘No don’t worry, it’s on me’, he majestically interjects. The woman blushes, appearing coy with her carefully rehearsed pleasant surprise. ‘Are you sure?!’ she would say, although she’s already stopped pretending to half heartedly reaching for her purse at this point.

Ok sorry for the stereotypes, I’m aware it’s hypocritical – just trying to be ironic. Anyway, I’m sure you get the gist.

What’s The Real Problem With The Bill Then?

So, for some, the issue arises when the man offering to pay never actually puts that offer on the table at all. But, why should he?! There’s no real reason for him to have to pay. You can also offer or, possibly a new concept for some, you can just split the bill! Since you both ate or drank, wouldn’t the fairest way to handle it be an equal split? Let’s be clear here, just because he doesn’t happen to pay, doesn’t mean that chivalry is dead, ok? What’s more, it doesn’t mean that a second date should be off said table. What is particularly frustrating about the whole situation is that all too often, those complaining about a bill? Yeah, those people call themselves feminists.

Feminism- the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

I’d like to highlight one word from the above definition… equality. It’s 2018 people! Here we are, demanding that the future is female, yet some women are still waiting for a man to pick up their bill! I mean we are all capable, independent and hardworking females. We can pay our way, thank you very much. Or can we..? Ok, it’s obvious men and women are not yet equal, so I’m not going to pretend that they are. I mean, how could I when the man sitting opposite you is earning 20% more for doing the same job, will receive more than half the bonus that you receive and is 3 times more likely to hold a senior role than you?!

But, I think we need to remember that everyone likes to feel special and everyone likes to be wined and dined every once in a while – irregardless of whether they have a penis or a vagina. So, if breaking the norm means splitting the bill, or even turning the gender roles completely upside down, then why not?! All I’m trying to say is that when it comes to deciding who pays the bill, perhaps ridding ourselves of archaic societal expectations may be a great step towards helping to bring about a change we’d all like to see. Food for thought, maybe?