At some point in our lives, we’ve all been single. It’s a relatable experience and yet, so many people get shamed for it constantly. The idea that you must be doing something wrong if you’re single isn’t a new one. If you say that you’re happily single, you get people quizzing you on how that’s possible. It’s expected that you explain for your singleness, because to be single is still seen as some sort of failure (spoiler alert: it isn’t.) A lot of society is geared towards being coupled up (it’s easier to afford a place if you’re a couple compared to if you wanted to live alone for example.) Look, it’s just rude to make unsolicited comments on people’s lifestyle choices so, with this in mind, here are 6 things not to say to single people…
This question is definitely at the top of the list of things not to say to single people. It really comes across as a backhanded compliment (if you can call it that.) You may as well just say ‘so, what’s wrong with you? Why is no one is interested in you?’ It perpetuates the idea that being in a relationship has to be everyone’s ultimate goal and that you have to justify being single, which you don’t. Also, if they knew the answer to this question, they likely wouldn’t be single anyway… If you’re enjoying single life and wanting to meet new people, check out CLiKD.
You’re not being picky if you’re not feeling your date
or you refuse to put up with toxic behaviour.
This is literally comforting to no one. In fact, most people who say this just use it as a way to tell you about how they met their significant other. It comes across more as a way to brag about your own life, rather than offering anything useful. Additionally, even if this does end up being the case for your single friend, it also makes them feel like expecting to meet some decent is somehow wrong and part of why they’re single.
Look, there are definitely examples of people being too picky. If you’ll only date someone who is a particular height and they have to be into the same obscure bands as you, I’d say be more openminded. However, being picky overall is not a bad thing. It means having standards for yourself. You’re not being picky if you’re not feeling your date or you refuse to put up with toxic behaviour. It’s important to actually enjoy the company of whoever you’re dating. Remember that.
Being actually excluded because of your relationship
status? Not cool.
Out of all the things not to say to single people, this one really depends on the phrasing. It’s one thing if you genuinely think your two single friends have common ground that could lead to them getting along and being a good match. It’s another thing altogether if you’re just thinking ‘they’re both single’ and that’s all they have in common. No one wants to be set up with your single acquaintance you’ve met twice and know nothing about. Also, who set your friends up with says a lot about how you view them.
Of all the thoughts that single people regularly have, feeling left out because all your friends are partnered up is one of them. Even the happiest single people can feel left out when they try to make plans with friends and they’re all busy doing couple things. Being actually excluded because of your relationship status? Not cool.
There’s more to life than being in a relationship.
Look, if that person was still in the picture, we probably would’ve said so to stop this stupid line of questioning, ok?
So, there you have it! 6 things not to say to single people. Next time you’re with your single friends, instead of interrogating and judging them because of it, why not take the time to celebrate their personal milestones? There’s more to life than being in a relationship. Just saying!