The first relationship after a divorce can be both exciting and anxiety-inducing. Many people wonder if their first serious relationship after a divorce can really last or if it is doomed to be a rebound, while others just want to have fun after ending a marriage.
There´s no need to remind you to download CLiKD Dating App if you want to start flirting, either after a while or right after signing your divorce papers. Life is about having fun, meeting people and having a good time, so what are you waiting for?
Here are a few tips for your first relationship after a divorce
Repeating the past
As expert relationship and dating counselors, we caution newly-single people to beware of jumping into a marriage-like relationship out of a need for comfort. The first relationship after a divorce tends to have many similarities to the previous marriage. In addition, these new relationships have many of the same problems. The reason is simple. We choose our partners based on our comfort level and how easy it is for us to be with them. This is not on a conscious level. We don’t consciously think about choosing a partner. We just let it happen naturally. The problem arises when we realize that the same problems, concerns and behaviors of our ex are eerily similar to those of our new partner.
In the first relationship after a divorce, it takes some self-searching to avoid repeating the same behaviors that led to the end of your marriage. The key is to learn from the past before moving forward into the future. The problem is not with the new person: the problem is with us. If we do not learn from our past and actively change our behavior, we repeat what we have not learned. If you have learned from your past experience, then your first post-divorce relationship will not be too soon.
The problem is not with the new person: the problem is with us
Taking the necessary time
Some people are surprised at how quickly they can get involved in their first romantic relationship after a divorce, even when they have the best intentions of taking things slowly. We reference the above advice about not learning from the past as a possible explanation for why things move so quickly.
A successful relationship after a divorce
While a newly divorced person may feel it is important to focus on themselves, a successful relationship requires consideration of the other person’s feelings and needs. It is important to look at the other person, and see and hear their thoughts, feelings and concerns.
Don’t be afraid of confrontation
It is also important not to fear confrontation in our relationship after a divorce, a common fear among those who have just left an explosive marriage full of arguments. Arguing and disagreeing on everything is part of a normal relationship: what is important is to have the skills to really listen and to want to problem solve.
Losing emotional baggage
It’s easy to fall into old habits when it comes to relationships but projecting your anger or your ex’s insecurities onto your new partner can spell disaster for the relationship. Do your best to consider the new relationship for what it is: a new relationship with a new person. While a new partner doesn’t guarantee a perfect relationship, your new partner deserves the chance to be with you free of the psychological baggage from your previous marriage. It’s the only way to give the new relationship any chance of success.
Do your best to consider the new relationship for what it is: a new relationship with a new person
And so, those are 6 tips for your first relationship after a divorce. Your first relationship after a divorce may turn out to be something wonderful and lasting, or it may just be another learning experience. Either way, post-divorce relationships can help in the healing process.