16 Valid Thoughts You’ve Probably Had If You're Single in London | CLiKD

16 Valid Thoughts You’ve Probably Had If You’re Single in London

  • Single girl thinking

    If you’ve been single in London for a while, then you’re probably at the stage where you flit between saying “this is the best! I am living. My. Best. LIFE. Right now” * hair toss, Beyoncé style * and “I am over this, at this point my most successful relationship is with Netflix and that’s paid for!” * crying face * Well, in any case, majority of the following 16 valid thoughts have probably crossed your mind about being single in London at some point;

    Thinking about how being single isn't that much fun

    1. First of all; I am a strong, independent woman [or insert your gender here] and I don’t need no man [or insert preferred gender here]

    single ballerina don't need no man

    This thought usually lasts a while, until you’re on the tube and you look up to see you’re all of a sudden opposite this cute couple snuggling, being all PDA in your face, as if one of them is going off to war but then they both get off at the same station (so what is the point of their over the top PDA if they’re going to the same place?!) Then, you have to keep repeating that you’re strong and independent, so you don’t start tripping over fellow commuters on purpose out of vengeance. Or is that just me…? Ok cool.

    1. I now get why all these girls on Instagram have great pictures! It’s all down to the #instahusband being there to take them. Hmmm, could be useful to have one of those…

    Kris Jenner photographing Kim Kardashian

    When you’re suffering at home alone with the London rain as your background noise, you may turn to the gram to insta-stalk. That’s when the feelings of FOMO from all those couple’s holiday pics in your feed starts and when the idea of a #instahusband begins to sound even more appealing. Who said men are completely useless?!

    1. With all these friend’s weddings coming up, having someone who is obliged to be my date would be great! If only so people will stop finding new ways to ask why I’m still single…

    You know when you get to that stage where every time you go on Facebook someone else from school/uni is engaged?! Or you’re at a friend’s wedding and you’re the only singleton left at the table? Even if their other half isn’t there, a wedding means conversation about all your love lives or lack thereof. Fun.

    Stephen Colbert unhappy around falling balloons

    1. Are there more couples in London now and if so, are they all stalking me and my singleness, because that seems unnecessary to me…?

    Third Wheel

    Whenever you’re single, you always tend to see more couples everywhere. Don’t know if they’re actually stalking you (maybe there’s a secret couple’s group that meets once a week to conspire against the single peeps of London, who knows? It’s a weird place.) It’s more likely that you’re just noticing them more because you’re not distracted by being in a relationship yourself, but it can still feel annoying.

    1. Is the art of conversation being lost on dating apps?

    Bitches love smiley faces

    If you’re single in London, you’ve probably dabbled in online dating and found you’ve been greeted with so many variations of ‘hey’ and ‘hi’, you might break your phone if you hear it again. You’ve also probably encountered the lack of questions from the other person (which is how conversation works by the way, it’s an EXCHANGE of words, look it up!) Then there’s the unsolicited pics, the lack of response and the general boredom of more of the same. All this, and more, has probably led you to the question; whatever happened to good, interesting conversation?! It can’t really be dead, can it?!

    1. Do I not like people anymore or do they not like me…

    House saying I don't like anybody

    When you’re single for long enough, you get to a stage where you wonder if you are the problem or if other people are. Is it really just slim pickings out there…? Ah, who are we kidding?! You’re awesome! If you don’t like someone, you shouldn’t have to settle and it’s unfair to both of you if you do.

    1. Do I still know how to flirt?! Is there a flirting masterclass I can take or something…? There are classes for everything in London, so probably.

    I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin

    Like anything in life, flirting takes practice, so when you haven’t been active for a while you may start to wonder if you’ve lost your touch. You may even contemplate looking for a flirting Yoda to guide you in the mystical journey of dating 😉

    1. Winter Wonderland is coming up. That’s a really cute date idea actually. So is ice skating. I can’t ACTUALLY ice skate but that’s beside the point if someone hot is there to catch me and keep me warm so…

    Mickey and Minnie Mouse ice skating

    London is a great place, filled with endless activities but being single in London may make you feel excluded from some of them, especially when they’re overrun by couples. With Christmas coming up, there are even more cutesy date ideas than you can shake a stick at. You don’t need to go with a date, of course, but sometimes the idea will cross your mind.

    1. Seriously?! As a single person it’ll take me 46 years to save for a mortgage! 46 YEARS! So being single is now ruining my housing options… how fun. NOT.

    'Buy a house!

     

    That’s right. There’s article after article about how being single in London is now officially going to bankrupt you, because that lifestyle is expensive (whether you chose it for yourself or not.) This is depressing knowledge if you were planning to buy a house and turn it into a dog sanctuary but, never fear! Who knows what the future holds?!

    1. It would be really useful to have someone to hold on to when the tube is this crowded and you can’t reach a pole. It’s just efficient really…

    Couple alongside moving train

    We’ve all been there. When the tube is so crowded that there’s nothing to hold on to… except another human being. If you are a true Londoner, I don’t have to tell you that it is unwise to hold onto a stranger on the tube. Hazardous to your health people!! Don’t even make eye contact, if you can manage it. That being said, it would be helpful to have a trusting partner to grab on to in those situations. Just saying.

    1. Excuse me!! Can someone explain to me how the population in London is still growing and I’m STILL single?!

    Always the population growing

    London is so densely populated. You’re forever tripping over people and yet you haven’t met anyone?! What sorcery is this?! I would like to speak to the cupid of London please? ASAP! He needs to step his game up.

    1. Has it become acceptable yet to ask a bad date to give you a refund on your oyster card?? Because this is London people, travel ain’t cheap and I could use that money to go to OTHER places with people I will ACTUALLY have fun with!

    Titus saying bitch better have my money

    Nothing worse than going on a bad date and feeling like you can’t get your time or money back. What a waste of an evening that had so much potential!

    1. I don’t care how hot someone is, I’m not trekking to zones 7 or 8! That’s basically a long distance relationship and I’m not about that life. Also, that’s expensive and I don’t want to spend half of my life on the tube!

    TOO FAR!

    Look, London is a huge place alright? When you go beyond certain zones, it does feel like you’re in a different place and once the overground is involved… you may be asking for too much. You need to like a person A LOT for that level of commitment.

    1. At least I don’t have to share my food. Food is my one true comfort; it never fails me… except when my jeans get tighter, but let’s not get into that.

    Barney saying my food, don't touch

    Get you a partner who looks at you the way you look at your waiter when they bring you food #goals. Being single in London means you can be as selfish as you want about food and London is a fabulous place to be for food. So gorge yourselves!

    1. At least if I decide to up and move countries, I won’t be breaking any hearts…

    Barbie doll waving saying BYE-EEEEEE!

    One of the perks of being single is that you can up and move without having to consult your partner. Or you can just go off and travel on a whim for as long as you want… if you can afford it. That’s another story altogether though, but it’s important to dream big.

    1. Will I be single forever though?!

    Not a single passable boyfriend among them. I'm gonna die alone.

    Truthfully, we can’t answer that for you. If we could, we would be rolling in all the monies, but we can help give you a better chance with CLiKD, the dating app that is all about putting the creativity back into dating.

    CLiKD, Creative Dating App - Don't Just Date Anyone