When going on a first date with someone, it is often a bit of a metaphorical stab in the dark in terms of what to expect. How do you know what to talk about on a date?
Depending on how long your build up to an initial date was, then it can obviously depend. If you managed to secure a date from “Hey, how you doing? Let’s grab a drink,” then this article will be critical to you. Especially compared to someone who chatted to their proposed date for weeks, before eventually meeting up.
However long you’ve been in conversation with this person for though, there are always legitimate topics that guaranteed winners and losers.
What You Should Talk About On A Date:
People who dislike pets and animals (ok, fair enough people with allergies) are monsters right? Right.
You wouldn’t go on a date with a monster, would you?
Ergo, by process of elimination, everyone else who isn’t a monster is guaranteed to lap up everything you have to say and show about your prized pooch or cute kitty.
Talking about pets is an easy win, because it shows you can care for another being reasonably successfully and also have a soft side to you.
Everyone has at least something that makes them tick beyond their job or studies. Whether it be their favourite artist, musician, poet or author, I challenge you to find me one person who is against all culture.
Talking about what you like culturally gives you depth. It helps presents you as an exciting person wanting to learn more about different subjects.
Whether you find yourself discussing your love for The Simpsons, Harry Potter, Beyonce or Picasso, it will give you a firm conversational foundation to build upon.
Most people have one in one form or another and most people love theirs a silly amount. It’s a part of life that unifies most people and also represents a genuine appreciation for community and care.
They also offer a wealth of opportunities for stupid anecdotes. Like that time your brother did something daft, or your Mum or Dad’s risqué behaviour in the 80’s.
There is a very high chance you are likely to go on a date with someone who is either studying or working. I make this assumption based on everyone needing money. Also, most people seeing intelligence as a particularly attractive trait in a partner, which studying and having a job generally do represent.
Your job often (unfortunately) also says a lot about you, in terms of your interests or aspirations.
People often want to be with ambitious and driven people. So, if you can prove that easily when discussing your current main role in life, then you’re already onto the right track.
Hear me out here! If you can go through a whole date with someone without speaking about really anything in particular and just riffing, then what does that say about you?
Likely you naturally just played off each other’s characters so well that you didn’t need to dip into your bag of conversation ideas.
You got on so well that you could just go off absolutely nothing. You could speak absolute gibberish with someone for a couple hours and, somehow, get away with it.
In other words, work with what you have. Have your own fun in conversation and the rest will follow!
What You Shouldn’t Talk About:
One thing we can all agree on here is that politics is bad at the minute. If you’re living in a country with a decent leader and laws that are fundamentally working for you rather than against you, then it is a rarity.
With that considered, why would you then speak about something so controversial? Especially if it’s going to have you arguing and leaving a terrible taste in each others mouths?
Just avoid it. Don’t talk about it. Haven’t we all heard just about enough about Donald Trump, Boris Johnson or Brexit?
Once again, just why would you do this to yourself?!
Talking about your ex (unless it’s in a very specific way, like where you are nice about them, but make it very clear you aren’t, under any circumstances, going back there) is it just a recipe for disaster. It’s just a downward spiral into other bad conversation tributaries.
The obvious being: “So, why did you break up?”
It’s best to just avoid the subject, especially on a first date!???
Health Issues (unless it makes sense at the time)
It sounds awful, but on a first date the person you’re with likely wants to feel positive and hopeful. Discussing physical or mental health concerns and issues on a first date will unfortunately probably make the other person feel like they’re signing up to A LOT by dating you.
There will definitely be time to discuss this stuff further down the line, but initially try and be as positive and uplifting as possible.
Issues with Family
If you are getting involved in a negative conversation about your family this early into hanging out with someone, it’s not a good sign. They will think that they are being used as a form of escapism, rather than someone to really try and develop something with.
It also presents you as someone who may struggle with close relationships, which obviously isn’t ideal.
Similarly to speaking about health issues though, it is very much encouraged to talk about family issues later down the line with someone.
Any complaints about anything
As I think we’ve now very much established in this half of the article, negativity is a mood killer.
You’re on a date with someone to have a good time, not moan!
Leave your problems at the door of the bar and concentrate on being a ray of positivity, rather than a shadow of negativity.
Now, enjoy your first date with the potential love of your life. Talk about all the stuff that makes you the awesome person you are!