Well kiddies, it’s happened! Firstly, let us congratulate you on getting to that elusive first date territory, you little flirting champion! 😉 * High five! * However, the work is not over just yet… You may have scored yourself a first date but you still have to talk your way through said date. You can sit on your daily commute and daydream about it wistfully as much as you want but, let’s be honest, you don’t want your date to turn into an expectation vs. reality scene from 500 Days of Summer (definitely worth a watch, or re-watch if you’ve seen it already). You want your date to exceed your expectations so, with that in mind, here are some need to know tips so you know what to talk about on a first date.
Preparation is Key
Now, let’s put things into perspective here, you’re going on a first date, not into battle. I know there’s that song ‘love is a battlefield’ but, ideally, it is meant to be the opposite! Love not war and all that. That being said, both scenarios are linked by the fact that preparation will take you very far indeed. You don’t need to go all Napoleon and map out your first strike or tactical teams (that would just be weird, even if you are a history buff…) but do have a look at your date’s profile have already a clue on what to talk about on your first date.
It’s a good way to refresh your memory and have an idea of their interests, as well as topics you’ve discussed beforehand. It’s really irritating to have to keep repeating yourself anyway, let alone on a first date. No one’s going to leave that date saying “oh they were such a great listener”, unless they’re being sarcastic, if you essentially meet up in person to have the exact same conversation you already had online, all because you weren’t paying attention the first time. Everyone appreciates it when someone pays them attention and there’s no better place for that than a first date. So go forth and study their profile like you’re going to be quizzed on it.
Leave Your Dating History at Home
If you’ve heard it once, then you’ve heard it 1000 times. DON’T. Talk. About. Your. Exes. On. A. First. Date. Just don’t do it! By all means, tell your besties that your ex was a nutcase or clingy or the worst human being to walk this earth but your date doesn’t want to know that right now. Once you get onto the subject of how much you hate your ex, you might find it hard to stop and the next thing you know, you’re ranting and your date is trying to find a way to escape because they wanted a fun evening out, they didn’t sign up to be your therapist.
Don’t despair though! Just because you can’t use this first date as another opportunity to bash your ex and sully their name, doesn’t mean you can’t talk about any other part of your life history. Stick to talking about friends, family and growing up. The whole point of a first date is to get to know each other. What better way to do that than to hear about your life and those who are nearest and dearest to you? I have a theory that you can tell a lot about a person by listening to the way they talk about their little circle of peeps. If they’re constantly telling you that their squad is full of monsters and awful people, then bear in mind that the common denominator in that narrative… is them. Just some food for thought!
Not Another Political Debate
Look, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have any opinions about today’s political climate. Whether you’re cursing backwards thinking for getting you into Brexit or wondering just how Trump sleeps at night, you probably have a lot to say about it, no matter what side you’re on. You know when isn’t the time to talk about politics and get into a screaming match? Yup, you guessed it. On a first date. Yes, political affiliation plays a huge role in attraction and couples (the statistics about couples and families being at odds with each other after Brexit and Trump are staggering) but politics can get heated. It can stop being about different viewpoints and get real personal, really fast. Yes, a first date is meant to personal but not on a vindictive level. Save the hard-core debates for another time. Consider this date as a break from all of that.
That being said, showing that you are a person who keeps up to date with what is happening in the world is never a bad thing. If you keep up with the news (which you most definitely should) by reading newspapers or having a news app on your phone (I swear by mine) then use that. Believe it or not, there is more news than just politics and showcasing intellect will never go out of style, so own it.
Ask Me Anything (Within Reason)
When thinking about what to talk about on a first date, one thing that will never change is that you should always ask inquisitive questions. As much as you should ask questions, try and answer them as best as you can too. Don’t skirt around every question aimed at you but also don’t take over the conversation once a question is directed at you. No one wants to hang out with someone who always monopolizes the conversation. It may seem like a hard balancing act but, technically speaking, this is genuinely the art of conversation and how it’s been flowing for years, so it shouldn’t be that hard at all.
Your aim should be to answer questions without going off on a tangent. Think of the first date as dipping your toe into a pool. There will be no dive bombing into this pool just yet! You’re likely to cover the basic topics; where you live, how long you’ve been single, where you work etc. but let me give you an example. If you hate your job, you can say that and explain what you’re looking to do instead but you don’t need to go into detail right now about how your boss is the antichrist, or how your co-worker always uses your mug and if they do it again, then you’ll just lose it. Just try and have the conversation flow evenly between the two of you. If this first date is poker, you don’t want to show your hand just yet.
Now you can talk the talk, let’s see if you can walk the walk and we hope the odds will be in your favour! If you want to meet people who you can show your fancy new first date talking skills to, you can do it with CLiKD, the creative dating app that lets you find like-minded people.