So, you’ve found someone online who you’re getting on with… but not just anyone. She is;
a) a seemingly intelligent woman
b) a seemingly attractive woman and
c) a seemingly intelligent and attractive woman who appears keen to engage in conversation with you.
You think you might want to meet her.
This all seems too good to be true, but you think “eh, why not? You don’t win the raffle if you don’t buy the ticket.” So, you pop the question (or some equivalent): “How about we hang out some time?”
You put your phone to one side and get on with something else whilst you wait for a reply…
The waiting continues for a bit more…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… no reply.
So, why does this keep happening?
Research by Credit Loan in 2018 found that women were nearly 10% more likely to escape dating someone by ghosting them than men are. This, whilst obviously being further down the line than just initially not meeting up with someone, provides evidence to the theory that women are worse than men… Sorry, I mean women are worse (or better) at jumping ship than men.
So, once again, why is this?
Well, getting the easiest reason out the way earliest, she may not want to meet up with you because…
She’s Had Second Thoughts
Whilst she’s very much been entertaining your approaches (and I’m sure she’s definitely been entertained) she isn’t too certain about how much she’s into you. It’s sad because you thought it was going well, but it needs to be remembered that this is someone who you’ve just met online.
Similarly, she might also have simply changed her mind about dating for the time being. Rather than this being anything to do with you, she could be “done” with dating for now.
Dating is a big time investment, can cost a lot of money and also means potentially hurting some people along the way. While you may not be thinking about the intricacies of it in that way, unfortunately, that may be all she’s thinking about.
This is frustrating, but just think of it this way, it saves you getting ghosted in a couple weeks time!
She Could Already Be In A Relationship (of some kind)
Dating apps are full of trolls (except ours, CLiKD keep on top of moderation ?). Every now and then, you may fall victim to one of these trolls. Once again, you’re chatting, having a laugh – tip: you can tell if someone’s a troll early doors if the jokes are a bit too keen/out there – you pop the question aaaaaaaand… *crickets*.
Life lesson here: Some people are mean and take a stupid amount of joy from annoying other people.
Though that said, the situation could also be more complicated. ie if this person is dating more than one person (as most often do) then there’s a legit risk of that person deciding that they want to take things a bit further with one of the people that she’s dating… That, sadly, can’t always be you.
She Could Be Very Nervous About Meeting Someone In Real Life
It needs to be said that the dating world is very different for men and women. Mainly, the actual risk involved for women using dating apps. Sexual assault and similarly awful crimes/threats are a consistent concern for women. The idea of meeting someone random off the internet can be as exciting as it is anxiety provoking. Therefore, the difference between innocently having a giggle with someone on an app and meeting them in real life is potentially huge.
In this type of situation, you just need to come across as real and personable as you really are.
There are a handful of reasons why she won’t meet up with you. For sure, it is annoying. It definitely feels like a waste of time but, then again, just because one person won’t meet up with you doesn’t mean that will always be the case.
Dating apps are a great place to meet people who you could actually have a future with. Don’t let yourself get bogged down by people who weren’t good enough to begin with.