“I need space.”

S-P-A-C-E

It’s so vague… yet not vague. Vague because you can’t touch it. It’s not tangible, you don’t know where it ends and where it begins. It’s not vague because even though it’s not tangible, the act of space can be felt.

So, when the guy you are dating asks for space, WTH does it mean?

It’s easy for our minds to naturally think “Does it mean he wants to break up with me?!” or “If I give him space will he come back?”

Don’t panic! Let’s look at the following:

1. What it means to give someone space
2. Some of the reasons why a guy might ask for space in the first place
3. And what to do if your guy asks for space

1. WHAT IT MEANS TO GIVE SOMEONE SPACE

First of, what is space (as in a relationship vs. the scientific definition)? Frankly put, it is time apart or more simply and bluntly put, being left alone for a while.

2. SOME OF THE REASONS WHY A GUY MIGHT ASK FOR SPACE

There are a number of logical reasons a guy may ask for space (check out MEL #15 Five Reasons Why He’s Texting Less for a related post):

• He’s really busy
• He has a lot of stress from him family, school, work etc.
• Your guy could be tired of arguing
• He’s been spending every waking hour with you (if you guys live together, it’s REALLY healthy to have your own time doing things, without the other person)
• He’s recharging by having his “me time”

 The list can go on, but it’s important to note that when guys get overwhelmed, they handle their emotions differently than women. Women tend to seek out friends and family for support or to vent to. Guys typically keep things bottled up inside so they need that alone time to sort through their thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

3. WHAT TO DO IF YOUR GUY ASKS FOR SPACE?

Give it to him!

This doesn’t mean give him that distance and continue to reach out to him at a normal or even higher rate.

Continuing to try to talk to him, text him, or chase after him is only going to push him further away.

So, resist.

Remember that giving him space will allow your guy the opportunity to reset and recharge. He is probably feeling stressed or overwhelmed by something in his life or in the relationship. He just needs time to retreat and let his emotions settle, so he can think clearly.

AND this allows time for him to MISS YOU.

You should use this time to do you. Spend time with people you love, doing things you love. Be independent and spend time recharging yourself!

Ideally you guys will come back refreshed and recharged. You’ll both be in a happier mindset.

And what if he doesn’t want to come back?

Not to sound harsh, but isn’t that a blessing in disguise…?  Because that just means you aren’t held back by someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. You can open yourself up to someone better.

Space is not a bad thing. Trust in the universe.

Happy Dating!

Ms. Mel