There is a common misconception that successful women have a choice of either down dating, intimi-dating or not dating at all. Your success shouldn’t be a shun word in your dating experience. So, stop looking down and look up to ‘shoot your shot’.
“I don’t want to sound too eager. Am I their type? They’re out of my league?”These questions are confidence killers. The ‘Confident Gap’ of successful women has meant that the modern dating app art of ‘shooting your shot’ seems to be impossible. Imposture syndrome has become more than just a personal attack from scrolling through the gram. Rather than being moody and binge watching your fav show while inhaling your “cheat” snacks waiting for ‘the text’. Find the confidence to message that potential person.
In the wise word of Shonda Rhimes, say yes to things you usually wouldn’t (nothing illegal -just messaging that cute person first). Making the first move is better than pondering on a fantasy. A survey in 2018 said that women who make the first move are more likely to have a lucky dating experience.
Date, ex, repeat
From F-Boys/Girls, Softbois and just general dating disasters. Do you find your dating experience is like Groundhog Day and there isn’t any control-Alt-delete option insight? Borden your horizon instead of dating down!
You aren’t Bill Murray, there isn’t an obligation to this circle. This isn’t Love Island! Stop going for your ‘type on paper’. Dating does not have to be this cliché. Instead of searching for the familiar, use your ghosts as red flags. Don’t find yourself on a downward spiral because history tends to repeat itself!
The chemistry of a common interest
Find a suitor. Despite being an outdated term, a suitor means find someone who shares a passion for similar interests. Even in platonic relationships science shows a common interest is key to actually liking someone. This means values and interests because common ground is better than no ground.
CLiKD is the perfect app as it has the familiarity of swiping, but with the chemistry of shared common interests. No common interest, no match! This makes the dates you do go on more fun, while having a slim chance of awkward silence. Plus, there is nothing more attractive than watching someone be passionate about something you care about.
Break Status Quo!
With no reference to HMS (High School Musical) there’s a need to challenge your current dating. Instead of dating down and accepting what you get, have a different outlook. In fact, a 2018 Journal (hyperlink) found that in order to succeed on dating apps, aim to have a little more confidence in yourself while you date. You might be surprised by the dates you go on when there isn’t a limit. Dating and dating apps do not mean you have to place yourself in a box that leads you to date down.
Close your Instagram, listen to your ultimate power song and follow your common interests! Dating is fun and it’s even better if you have shared interest other than ‘they’re attractive’. Happy dating ladies!